Which hurts more?? Physical pain?? Or Emotional pain??

2009-08-12T14:39:00.003+08:00

i read ur blog, and im like ah fuck.. why the hell did i waste all that time just reading nonsense hey?? hahaha. hilarious..

and then i clean up my room and i see all those papers where i scribble parts of my genius.. and i read them.. and im like oh shit.. why the hell did i waste them on u hey?? hahaha.. ABSOLUTELY hilarious..

i almost gave you all of me, yet u chucked them aside like the presents u deemed uncool... all that pent up feelings, i poured my heart in them. and u just chucked them. oh if u only knew what they really were..

now that i read all ur nonsense, all i can say is what goes around comes around hey? and look where we are now... im not sure bout u, but im real good, thanks for asking.. but then again.. u din noe it was me hey? yahahahah.

so i guess im starting all over, liking yet again another wrong person. but u noe.. why break the status quo yeh? its been a massive bugger-all..

"well i believe in love, but who knows where or when, its coming around again"
Carly Simon.. most brilliant song writer.

2009-06-15T18:45:00.002+08:00

you know what i reckon?????

nobody reads my blog right.. so i could technically just like write random tell all stuff and nobody will know!!! cos nobody reads my blog cos i just dun bother to update sometimes. hahahaha.....

like i could say that so and so is actually a so and so and nobody'd actually know! that would be cool. like i get to write nonsense on this blog, and i dun have to password restrict it.. HAHAHAH.

this would be a rather cool thing... tho it not so.. nobody likes boxers or panties aired in public eh?

this is officially a random rant.. why????? im in uni till bloody late. hahahahhaha

2009-05-08T00:05:00.002+08:00

u bloody mother fucker...

i dun even noe what to say man... who the fuck locks our door on our level?? it was fucking safe till u came along in this picture...

i dun wanna accuse u, but cmon.. steal fucking 50 bucks from me?? you were the only mother fucker who knew i wasn in my room and NOBODY was around.. bloody pain in the ass

im not as pissed with u as i am with myself...

HOW THE HELL CAN I REALIZE IT ONLY SO LATE?!?!?!?!? fuck man.. fuck..

i dun need other nonsense man. thanks for kicking me in the bollocks. great..

2009-04-24T17:46:00.002+08:00

hahah.. yes i should update...

things have been cool man! just came back from melb.. i absolutely swear i had the greatest time there.. just cos i get to spend heaps load of time with gerry, luddy and luddy's peeps. hahaha. man. luddy.. i love ur housemates. friggin good load of fun..

it was real good to be in melb cos gerry's mom made so much kuehs and desserts. so its like eat until can die kind. shiok sia. then her mom made me like 2 boxes of kueh to bring back to adelaide. its crazy man! everybody at the lodge just fell in love with it man. eat non stop. ahah. doesn help that i bought 3 dozen donuts from krispy kreme back with me. NOT HELPING AT ALL...

so ah well. just need to distribute the whole shit load. on top of that, i gotta work off all that kueh and donuts. haha!!!!

i reckon it'd be great then its just back to the old routine lah. study, then go gym when stressed.. i kinda like that routine. makes me feel... satisfied.. yeh man. its real cool.

oh.. last night... i gave my mom a facebook tutorial over the phone.. its hilarious!!! but then after i taught her quite a fair bit, i was like ah fuck.. my mom added me. so gone are the days of being able to write random stuff on my wall. and i gotta censor stuff and everything.. well it act doesn really help that i have both my aunts and my cousin on fb.. now i cant ramble bout anything that gives away my 'other' life. HAHAH!!!

other than that.. dude.. how cool is it that ur mom wants ta use fb?? the only consolation is that my mom's not that tech savvy. and she aint gonna be checking fb often. so maybe i could get away with SOME stuff that i put up. haha. no more crude shots of me showing the finger.. SOBS!!!!!!

so somebody.. do me a favour and keep uploading pictures of me so that my mom wont be able to see my 3rd finger shot with gerry pls!!!!!

2009-03-09T16:11:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey.. well, so finally im back in adelaide, summer break just came and went just like that.. managed to accomplish quite a fair few things back home but i reckon i coulda done more.. but thats not to say that i din fully enjoy myself. i bloody did enjoy every single second with gerry and wugs..

classes have started full blast.. cant bloody believe it. act had an assignment handed out in the first week. one's due tmr, the other due on wed. wah kee siao man.. in some sense im happy to be back in adelaide, the other is just like ah fuck man. so like im hoping that i finish studying soon so i can stay at home.. but the faster i hope it comes, the slower it unfolds? hahaha. oh well. what to do?? kns man

the only thing now to do is just to bog down and be hardworking lor. for one of my subjects, i have to design and build 2 robots to carry out a certain task. and the thing is that we're all joining the competition. no choice. it'll take the full length of the semester to complete this project. so its gonna be a bloody long proj man. damn no choice. i must pull my weight or else i can just fail that sub. can die..

so ok lah. conc is conc. but then when i've got nothing to do, i ask if having someone to think about is good.. or is not having someone to think about is good. hahahah. ah pain in the ass..

2008-12-18T23:33:00.003+08:00

man.. xmas is coming!!! AND I DUN HAVE MONEY!!!!! cheebeh.. luckily i ran out of my weekly allowance today.. better running out on a thurs than on a tuesday.. ur dead sia if that's the case.

oh well.. been quite a bit since i last updated.. DID BLOODY WELL FOR EXAMS!!!! tot i was gonna fail everything but in the end, i passed!! on the way man.. on the way. tho i'll give a big treat if i ever get a friggin high distinction in uni exams sia. CONFIRM.. the chances are like.. almost zero lah. hahaha. need to be almost zero to show a bit of confidence right??

well, so hols have been great. blody hell, think im packing on the kilos.. gotta go rowing again man. camp out at the gym or sumth. ahahha. ah heck. gosh. i love summer hols man. tho this means that when this is over, i gotta wait another friggin year to have a go at a long vacation sia. its seriously SIBEH SIAN.

i miss adelaide in a weird sense...

2008-11-18T12:27:00.002+08:00

im fucking dead....

had 3 papers already so far.. been pawned by the uni lah. they triple kill me.. damn pissed off. haha. i had a paper each on friday and saturday.. they were a heck of a bitch man. friday was mechatronics, sat was dynamics-mechanic. today was dynamics & control 1. thurs will be stress analysis & design.

i walked out of the exam hall today, and i saw my frens just right outside.. when we caught each other's eyes, we just started laughing.. we actually LLAAAUUUGGGGHHHEEEDDDDD... yup. that's how bad the paper was.. we were just smiling and all. i dunno why man. it was ALL of us. like the bulk of the dynamics & control students was just smiling. its the "oh my god i cant blieve i actually sat thru that whole paper". it was just stupid. as i was walking out of the compound, i met my fren who was going in for the afternoon paper.. when he saw my face, he also smile lah. then he asked if whether it was a good paper and i was like haha.. this is the face of a failed paper man..

SCREWED UP.. what makes it worst is that i have this china chinese lecturer who teaches mechatronics and control. so thats like 2 different subjects... he SUCKS. i went to ask him questions lah.. i walked out not knowing the answer to those 5 questions. later on, i found out from a friend that if u want direct, str8-to-the-point answers, u need to converse with him in chinese.. im like fuck no way am i doing that man.. bull shit..

oh well.. triple killed so far already.. hopefully i pawn stress analysis... but ah.. im more concerned bout sat's events.. IM GOING HOME!!!!!!! FUCK YOU UNI!!!!!

2008-10-31T15:08:00.002+08:00

Good god.. its been a bloody crazy week.. Been sleeping at bout 5 almost everyday. its quite crazed. Been staying out at uni till bout 1,2 am almost each day. its a real daze, these past few days.. quite crazy.

its weird. exam week is gonna start soon, and our lecturers are still giving us so many lab reports, tests and assignments to do.. fucked up man!!! real pain in the ass. so anyhow, i've got 1 assignment, 2.5 lab reports down. 1 more assignment, 1 more lab report, and 1 more test to go. im SPEWING!!!

u noe what.. i think im gonna dedicate the first week when im back home in s'pore.. TO SLEEP.. hahah.. what a great way to spend the first week eh? thats kinda what i did when i went back in july. i was so sleep deprived that i just collapsed early when i got back. phew.. crazed crazed.

yest, i was on the bus, and i saw this guy talking to 2 school boys.. then one of the boys was tellin him bout this girl in his class.

boy: man, there's this real bitch girl in my class!
guy: u noe what u should do? i dare u to go up to her and say "hey, if your gonna be a bitch, act like one" then take a tennis ball, throw it far, and then say "NOW FETCH!!"

hahah! wah lao! i almost died lah when i heard it.. its a real damn good one sia! so pple.. if that happens anytime to u soon, u could take this one off me. hahah.. man. it'd be hilarious..... to 3rd parties that is. heh heh.

alrite mates, hang in there, good luck to everybody with exams, be updating soon or sumth

2008-10-29T00:57:00.002+08:00

It's the damn time of the year now... EXAM TIME...

wah sibeh sian sia.... well ok.. exams haven started for me yet, but hey, this is like the last week of school before we have one week SWOTVAC (study leave). dun ask me what the hell it stands for or means man. all i noe, is no class. HAHAHA..

what sucks is that i have outstanding assignments and lab reports to hand in.. For my friends, they're complaining cos they cant start revising cos they must do assignment.. but for me, i have NO idea how to do the damned assignments so im revising.. sian man. but what to do? study engineering is asking for it lah huh? hahahha

i cant wait till i head home.. after next week, everything is really gon pass BLOODY fast i tell u. thank god my exams are pretty ok. got 2 exams consec days and then another 2 with a rest day in between. OK LAH. exams is exams.

I really want to pass this semester man. oh wait. more so like i need to pass this sem. cannot afford to lag behind by a subject or 2. plus, i dun wanna fail a subject then have to come back early for summer school. i refuse man! so no choice, MUST study hard. plus, i've already booked my ticket to go back and im not even waiting for my results to come out. i finish on the 20th and then i zao on the 22nd. buay tahan lah? study hard now, can rest for shit loads later on.

26 days more!!!!! COME ON!! GAMBATEH!!!!

2008-10-15T15:48:00.003+08:00

hey hey hey!!! hmm.. been awhile again eh?

its so friggin weird.. my last tag on the tagboard.. crazy assed shit.

i've been workin out the past week or so.. its been great man. its like a great feeling of rejuvenation. OH.. i went JOGGING on monday... even i cant blieve it man. jogged around my block for about 20 mins. crazy. its wednesday today, and my quads are still aching. i feel that im less tired nowadays also for some strange reason. tired as in the slp in class kinda thing. so thats a good thing.

I HAVE 5 MORE FRIGGIN WEEKS!!! TILL I COME HOME!!! im counting down man! i've already come up with my timetable, and i think im doin a pretty good job of following it. I seriously dun wanna go back to adelaide early to take summer sch or to do supp paper. I'll be damn pissed.

2nd year already.. must really pia sia. pia for the rest of the years as well.. i wanna achieve my dream man. cant say that dream.. or else i'll just be cursing myself. pple will also curse me also. HAHA!!! so cannot say yet.

where is the love????

2008-10-02T19:14:00.002+08:00

got back from melb yest.. its not bad man.. pretty good... the 3 of us (me, gerry and the gui) played heck loads of mahjong and poker.. we also went up to the great ocean road.. all the way up to the 12 apostles, also went fishing off sorrento.. friggin fun man. the fishing was great.. it was wayyy better than what we caught the last time we went on a fishing trip. we caught better fish than the stupid flatheads we caught last time. the only prob is that we went further out to sea where the water is choppier and like quite a fair bit of us got seasick. but oh well.. what to do right? u gotta take the good with the bad. managed to catch 5 fishes.. and wu gui and gerry did pretty well too man.

i wish that holidays din end so soon... damnit.. i feel as tho i havent rested enuf. i think physically im still tired.. never slp properly for the last few days already.. since monday. quite bad man.

my mom's here in adelaide!!!!!! wahoooo!!!!! well.. not exactly that happy cos that means i cant celebrate with my muslim mates all the feasting of hari raya. bleah. but its great with my mom here. so i can get her to pay for stuff! hahahhaha.. tsk.. yes.. i am so bad. but hey man! what do u do bout it???

i have literally lost a whole year... u dunno baby.. u dunno

2008-09-22T11:53:00.002+08:00

bloody hell man.. adelaide's weather is being such a bitch sia! yest was a really nice day man.. like really good weather to go for a walk kind.. but then today, RAIN LIKE SHIT.. practically almost froze my friggin ass off. and i had to get to uni in the rain.. haha.. i din have an umbrella.. serves me friggin right man.

oh well.. hols have started.. so its a bloody good thing.. but yet.. NOT.. i cant wait to go to melb.. which is tmr.. but i cant blieve im actually going to melb.. with all the assignments and bullshit.. cant friggin blieve it..

if you do not want to see me again.. i would understand.......

2008-09-13T00:38:00.002+08:00

i tot it was comin along well man... why why why???

hhaha.. uni's been a bloody bitch man... aiya, but what to do right? its so easy to like something when u haven started it or done it.. but like when u do it, its so difficult, u really dunno whether its set up just to piss u off, or u actually dun really have that much of a passion for it eh? i think the only way is to just carry on and see what amounts to it lor. its difficult now, and a fair bit of ple are telling me to reconsider.. but right now, it really isnt the right time to judge anything... cos first of all, year 1 has nothing to do with engineering.. so now that i acutally have a small taste of engineering, im pretty alright i guess.. its a struggle, but i wont die..

man... wu gui has been here for what.. a week and a half? and its great that she's here man! makes adelaide a more live-able place.sure gon miss it when she leaves man. but luckily im gon be headed out to melb to just get away from adelaide for awhile. melb really makes me love adelaide a bit more.

i rmb u and me used to spend the whole damned day in bed!!!!!!!!

2008-09-03T23:09:00.002+08:00

got a piece of news today... it should make somebody feel pretty happy for that event/situation/circumstance. but i just felt blah.

just smile when-----

-u feel awkward
-u dun feel like facing anything
-there is no need to reply to anything
-u feel like crap deep down but dun wanna hurt somebody else
-ur hurt and u wanna hide it
-nothing is going ur way

but why can't you smile when----

-ur truly happy???

i therefore conclude that it is a heck load easier to smile truthfully. but then again. what are the chances eh?

2008-09-02T00:14:00.002+08:00

i was kinda clearing out my room and i chanced upon my farewell gifts.. they were real neat man. made me feel pretty good about myself... really really great feeling.

haven really been myself as of lately.

i remember you and me use to spend the whole god damned day in bed...

losing a whole year..

2008-08-14T20:05:00.002+08:00

man.. today was a looonnngggg day for me.. had early class at 8 to 10... then met up with shina and tikah to walk to the convention centre cos haikal had graduation today.. basketball man.. quite a fair few of my frens also all graduate already.. i also want!! graduate then go home!!! hahaha. ah well.. im only gonna graduate in 2011. gotta push on hard man.

after that, the 3 of us and amir went to the airport to send zafir off today. he left damn sudden lah. i only got the msg that he was leaving for good today, yesterday. i was shocked sia. i mean some of us kinda knew that he was gonna leave soon.. but who the hell knew it was gon be today?! bloody big big bugger..

whats damn funny is that it was only a couple of days ago that we finally swopped handphone numbers. i guess that before that, we never bothered cos we're on the same floor and so dun need to exchange numbers. hhaha. then when we finally have, he zao adelaide. ahhahaa!!!! puki ma!!! he's a bloody good bro. he's my uno partner in crime.. cos like each time me, him, shina and tikah play uno, we can thrash the girls pretty harshly. its damn funny man. ahaha.

after that, went to meet haikal and his sister again. had lunch, then went to amir's place to watch national treasure and guitar heroes 3. then zao home lor. which is where i am now. sibeh sian ah... the common room is so friggin quiet. sian ji pua..

heart of stone... heart of stone

2008-08-12T09:05:00.002+08:00

adelaide is seriously killing me man... the weather is really creeping into my bones. man. what's wrong with the world aye? so hot, so cold.. can die lah. its been raining and hailing a couple of times throughout last week.. we're looking to have the same weather this week as well.. so like ah crap. gotta make sure my heater's working when the gui comes down.. i NEVER ever turn on my heater.. but for her sake, i better make sure its running properly. if not we just might get a frozen body in my room. haha!

olympics have been great.. but the aussies.. bloody hell man, they're pricks.. they only show the events with aussies competing in them. dun show other events.. which is such a bugger! the only other event that they show is maybe with some chinese participants doing damn well. but even then.. its just highlights. bloody bugger. yeh, i noe loads of u guys are saying "switch to another channel!!!!" but NOOOOO... we only have one channel showing olympics. bloody hell man. back home, i think u guys get like 5 different channels aye?? see?! its so bloody good!

stumbled across an old song that i used to listen to as a kid.. its really good man. its by carly simon.. do the walls come down

(chorus)
do the walls come down when you think of me
do your eyes grow dim
do the walls come down when you think of me
do you let me in
do the walls come down

nothing like a rainy night
to set your heart remembering
nothing like a vivid dream
to take you back again

chorus

something in my pocket
that was written years ago
in faded ink said "you are my fire"
do you think so

chorus

is it easier for you to say
you never loved me anyway
or do you hide me in your attic trunk
like a stowaway

2008-08-08T11:42:00.002+08:00

OLYMPICS STARTS TODAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love the olympics man.. i watch EVERY sport but most of my attention turns to the individual events. Can u imagine? the hopes and pressure of their country just rests on their shoulders? i believe that olympics is always about rewriting history.. smashing records and all..

cant wait for track and field in particular to start. yelena isinbayeva.. she's a pole vaulter.. CHECK HER OUT MAN!!! SHE FLIES!!! omg.. she rocks. oh what i like is also those underdogs.. never heard of before, they come in and ass rape the top athletes! (this doesn mean only track and field). its like that chinese hurdler lah.. liu xuan right? cant rmb. but man! he was an underdog and he ass raped everybody in the athens olympics. wahoo!!

man.. but the sad thing is all those drug cheats. they're fucked up. they should definitely be stripped of their position sia... yeh, pple say the cleanest person can be dirty but cmon man! its for the integrity of the olympics and its participants! haha. if only i had a chance to be an olympian eh? ahhaha

ah well.. im a sucker for olympics. haha!!!

2008-07-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

HELLO!!!!! yes i died and have revived again!!

man.. i've been either busy.. or just lazy ta blog i guess.. i love going to other pple's blogs.. but im kinda lazy to update mine. saw my entries and realized that there was abt a 2 month gap between the last one and 2nd last one.. so tot bloody hell, i think its bout damn time i wrote sumth up here.

well, im back in bloody cold and miserable old adelaide... had ta come back early by a whole bloody week just cos of supplementary paper. its just one sub so thank god. if not, i figure i'd just die. so oh well, hopefully i'll get thru that paper with a pass.. im not expecting for much. bloody hell man, for a supp paper, i came back a friggin week earlier than expected and wanted, missed my birthday celebration back home for the 3rd year str8, so its a bit pissifying..

ok lets just wind back all the way.. lets start from home.. it was great. i believe it was pretty well spent. i took bout the first few days just resting at home and playin xbox360. had ta get used to the weather and all.. so nothing new.. we prawned quite a fair bit and managed to catch up with a bit of golf. me and gerry went like twice. it was good fun. i was just trying to get my swing back and all. wanted to play a round of golf with me dad but din get round to doin it.. i believe that time was well spent cos the gui had sch and we had to plan out our time spent when she's free, and it turned out good man! like time wasn really wasted. managed to catch up quite a fair bit with reena, which is a def good thing. same went with the younger ones, like kim, cel and chuck.

ok, so then came back early to adelaide. it was quite funny.. i landed in adelaide at 9-ish am.. and my supp paper was at 2pm on the same friggin day. crazed man! i tell u, luckily i brought my books back. that was the 22nd july.. the next day, was my birthday.. it went ok i think. sucked for a small component, but oh well. what to do??? its not abt pple forgetting that it was my bday? its more so that they dun even noe that it was my bday. went for lunch with ah tan and allen at the beach, thanks to the suggestion by my best girl, geraldine tay su juan.. we absolutely FROZE OUR ASSES OFF... man! it felt as tho our fingers were gonna drop man! it was crazy!!!! then at night, kiran and 3 others brought me out for spicy szechuan food. which was pretty good. cept that i just shat my bowels out that same night. ass was burning man!

so far, i've just been trying to adjust back to adelaide life.. slow, dead, sombre.. ah well.. its not that bad. just that i guess i wasn prepared to spend 'extra' time in adelaide. i dunno.. i dun think i can survive hols in adelaide.. it would be a pain in the ass.. well, to tell u the truth, i cant wait for sch to start in a few hours, at least that will keep me distracted from my depression due to the hostel and adelaide.. hahah.. ah well.. work hard this sem i say!!!!

oh.. its been so friggin cold in adelaide that a couple of the homes on the hills had their underground water pipes frozen solid!!!! thats whacked man!!!! i cannot imagine the ground being so cold that the water pipes would freeze over, but i guess thats what happend man!!!
crazy crazy crazy!!!!! what to do? i knew this would happen man. there's no way that we could have a 2 week heatwave and then not have a cold winter.... so i guess its all balanced out then

2008-07-06T02:52:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!! heh heh heh... i've returned from the dead.

yep! im friggin finally home!!!! the weather sucks, gotta get use to crapped service, impatience... but hell! its home baby!! i mean like i find myself asking hi how are u to cashiers and what not.. shouting to the bus driver "thanks!"... its crazy assed.. well i guess it will be good that pple act do that.. but its just not done here! haahah.. still getting used to it.

so far, i've only managed to eat mac's.. no kfc and BK.. cant wait! oh put damn alotta those hawker oily food up in the list..haven been able to head to a hawker centre yet. stil trying to adapt to the weather man. its a killer!

gotta meet up with everybody soon... been back but i've been staying at home most of it. still trying to recover from the lack of slp back in adelaide.. and partly cos i've been playin HECKLOADSA xbox360..

i like u. but i just dunno how to go about doing it. i have never liked somebody this much, for that long

2008-05-26T23:03:00.002+08:00

ehllo hello!!!! man i say, time passes sooo FRIGGIN fast.. its crazy! when friday ended, i was like hurray! its the weekend, and here we are.. monday's gone, tuesday's just starting..

the weekend was great!! tho i din get any work done.. friday night i skipped ocf and went to meet dai jie, xinyun, laura and chris for dinner, followed by a drive up to mt lofty and then a nightcap at the pancake kitchen. shiok sia.. met new friends. and the best part is that we're all from ac.. haha. so got damn alot to talk about.

sat i had a hockey match in the evening.. my cousin's good friend, pete, coaches this team and he called me to ask if i wanted to play for them. so i did lah. for that game, i did absolutely NOTHING. the first half my team scored 5-0.. the ball only passed to our half twice! but in the 2nd half, 2 new players came in and they were pretty zai. but the rest of the team din support them well, so they only made 4 breaks into my goal area but had ZERO shot attempts at me.. hell, i din even touch the ball. so the final score was 6-0. and only after we finished, did i realize that the team we played was adelaide uni's hockey club!! wah damn heng sia! i was gonna join the club sia.. phew phew.. oh the funny part, i dun even noe the name of the team that im playing for. hahah..

after hockey, went for kiran's birthday dinner at maya's indian restaurant.. pretty ok lah. quite a fair bit of pple there, so its like just talk to the pple sitting immediately next to u kind.. after dinner, met up with dai jie and gang again for drinks.. not bad lah. botanic bar... we just got drinks and sat outside and talked till bout 2-ish.. damn fun..

sunday, brought dai jie and gang up to hahndorf.. we ate at the cottage kitchen.. the best place to have their hot german plate.. wah damn shiok. each time i go up there, i always eat at the cottage kitchen. damn tight with the lady boss cos i bring her so much business. each time i go, i have like 5 to 6 frens with me. this time round there was like 10 of us.. haha.. she was DAMN happy lah. then flirted abit with the cook... and i got an extra slice of pork chop.. hahah!! sibeh shiok sia! sad thing is that they're closing down for good in july.. so yeh.. bleahhh..

i must say that that weekend might have been my most fun in a looonnnnggg while.. damn. wish i was home. hahahha

2008-05-15T10:04:00.000+08:00

hmm.. been pretty tense these past few days.. maybe i should just let go and let loose. haha. its believed that 100 days before u die, u'll be very calm. aha. first time i heard of that one man. my neighbour says thats why she's so stressed. cos she doesn wanna die in the next 100 days. hilarious sia..

last night was just great. me and nadia sitting on the 7th floor just doing stuff. got to know her better. she got to know me better. and we realized we were pretty similar! it was fun. got to know bout her past, she got to know my past... she's like my new found buddy in the hostel. its really great..

sometimes the past isn't too bad to revisit.. cos like afterall u've been thru, it really doesn work out anyway, does it? hahaha.. cant really afford to be nonchalant about it. well, there we go! writing in riddles again..

2008-05-13T00:11:00.002+08:00

i have a new malay song that i like man. it really rocks. im still trying to get a full translation from my malay frens here. content wise, im unsure of it, but man, song wise, the melody is really good! it's called kotak hati. directly translated, it means box heart. hilarious. makes no sense whatsoever.. but wow. massively influenced by my malay frens here man..

hate the state im in now.. im in that stage where im fallin sick but not quite yet.. its like one time, i feel sick, but the next, i feel fine. its a pain in the ass. im like ah heck man! u want to fall sick, quickly fall sick and get it over and done with lah! sian diao man..

keep it in and die a little..

2008-05-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

been awhile since i updated.. i dunno if u can call it being busy but yeh.. i just dun blog..

uni's still being a massive bitch, classes are getting worse, but in a good way, im starting to understand abit more of math.. but at the same time, im also wondering if im cut out to be an engineer. ever since young i've always wanted to be an engineer. but now that im studying in that fac, i really really have my reservations.. its crazy lah. i hate theory but i absolutely love practicals. love gettin my hands dirty and all. the theory part is just really over my head now. well, due to last sem, i cant screw up this sem. so i dun really have a choice. gotta pia.

hmm.. im starting to hate the nights a heck load more.. makes u think and what not..

oh well anyway, i think i kinda finished a song. i dun have inspiration for a bridge and an outro, so for now, this is the 'finished' edition.. oh and another thing.. it still doesn have a title.. cant decide

Trapped in the silence
All emotions crashing down on me
On my bed
Left to deal with misery myself, myself, myself
All alone
In the dark I find myself gasping out for air
Sick and tired
Of having thoughts of you raining down on my parade

Pre-chorus
I wish there was more I could do
So you'd truly know the way I feel
I wish there was more I could say
So I wouldn't feel this way anymore

Chorus
I'm tired of writing in riddles
Having words stuck in my mind
Someday I will solve this puzzle
And leave this city behind

Forced in a corner
I raise my hands and surrender to my fate
In despair
I do the things I swore I'd never do again
Thoughts of you
How I wish you'd feel the same way about me too
So frustrated
Of falling head over heels each time and time again

(pre-chorus)
(chorus)

2008-04-24T23:45:00.002+08:00

fuck u lah u bloody fucking idiots.. so fucking in my face. so bloody fucking in my face man.. so fucking blatant right in front of me. how fucking stupid are you fucktards?? ur song is so fucked up, its a kick in the balls man. fuckingly stood in the fucking room playing those shaker eggs where u bloody fucktard thought i was having fuckloads of fun. and then another idiot banging my baby around.. bloody fucking pissant...

ah wth.. i really dun give anymore... its a pain in the ass... fucking kick in the balls...

2008-04-15T23:55:00.002+08:00

in melb now.... not bad... its kinda cold. so yeh... gerry and the rest are all pretty busy.. cos its the week where everybody has massive loads of assignments to hand in...

... i held out ok.. i held out for so long.. and then for u to do it today, it made my heart jump... and then it all crashes again.. this is precisely what i was protecting myself against... and i walked str8 into it. fuck this shit man. fuck it...

2008-04-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

its been awhile since i updated.. not that anything big happend. its more like sch, home, do work, slp, sch, home, do work, slp... while/for loop... for comp science pple, u'll noe what i mean...

cant wait for the term hols to come up. its a real pain in the ass.. kinda need my break, and get out of adelaide for awhile... melb makes me appreciate adelaide for some strange reason. hahaha! i mean melb is great.. but i'd rather much prefer to study in adelaide U..

oh yes.. forgot to mention.. i recently joined a band.. we're called the tristantos. after my fren who's surname is tristanto. how cool is that man? he's indo.. and back then, all surnames had to be changed to sound muslim-ish? he's act surname is tan. but it got changed to tristanto. but anyhows.. i've played with them once... and i really am not sure bout where i am right now. its fun.. i guess. but its not my sound.. i dunno.. just gotta see how it goes. oh we've got a paying gig coming up soon. so i guess it'll be our first experience flyin out.. cant wait as well..

u noe sometimes i really wish i could just go up to a person and just say what i feel.. instead of talking in riddles all the time... if only things were that easy man.. i wouldn be having this 3,4 year break.. hahah.. ah well.. only time will tell..

2008-03-28T21:54:00.002+08:00

went for ocf just now... was pretty good man.. played for the band.. it was an all girls band.. cos we were trying to advertise our girl's ministry man. it was like damn friggin shiok! it was like the MOST FUN band playing ever sia!!! it's like we were all just crapping.. and i think our band was like THE BOMB man.. played the guit.. it's been a LLOOONNNGGG time since i played the guit for praise and worship. i've pretty much been playing only as a bassist. i act kinda miss playing the guit cos then im playing full parts instead of just going tomp tomp tomp. haha..

finished a massive assignment last night.. feels AWESOME man.. bloody tedious sia. it was a computing assn on microsoft word and excel. crazed sia. first time i act used excel as a computing program. it wasn just like finding this no times that no.. its like use it to solve matrices, draw graphs and all that bull. anybody needs help in statistical info, u can come to me!!!!

finished the bulk of my assignments for this coming week so im just gon chillax with 2 of my mates that have come back to visit adelaide. one came back from s'pore to adelaide to go for graduation and another mate came to visit from melb.

maybe if i think hard enuf...........

2008-03-15T23:54:00.002+08:00

had italian just now.. had a bloody good serve of risotto con pollo e funghi. that just means risotto w/ chicken and mushrooms. haha. fancy italian name. ah well. but it was a bit too rich for me. felt sick after eating it. just too gelat for me..

so anw, after dinner, me, my uncle and aunt, my cuz michelle and her fiance raj, went for a real long walk along north terrace.. along the uni.. cos like there's a lights show. it was really good man. its like lights projected on important buildings. i cant really describe how it is. but it was good. better if i had someone tho. oh well. the night weather was pretty good as well, so no complaint there. the aft weather was still a bitch tho.

lights for two? more like lights for one sad lonely bastard..

2008-03-15T16:08:00.002+08:00

Two jumps in a week I bet you
Think that's really clever, don't you boy?
You broke another mirror,
You're turning into something you are not
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry.....

Today's weather's at 38 degs. it's still kinda crazy but the good thing is that the min temp is pretty cooling. and it's already starting to drop so im act out in the garden using my lappie. bloody good man.. horrible weather's gonna continue till tues.. wed will be at 31 and thurs will be 27. both days will rain, so im just looking fwd to that weather again. it better cool down man.. COME ON!! it's friggin autumn man!!

shifting back to my hostel tonight.. hahah. back to the ol shit hole.. i guess its good in some sense. will be good to see all my old mates again.

scream all you want boy.. she'll never hear....

2008-03-09T13:44:00.003+08:00

omg omg omggg!!!!! today's like a friggin 40 degs out man!!!!! and to think i was gonna go beaching?!?! im absolutely spewing now.. haven had a taste of beaching since the summer man. but if i had gone, i'd definitely get a massive caning from the sun. plus, i dun have a good pair of sunnies..

went shopping with chloe yest. wahhh.. that girl is damn indecisive and fussy sia!! haha. its been a long time since i went shopping with a girl! haha. i mean i just tagged along with her and gave her my 'opinions' bout the stuff she tried on.. HAHA!!

oh well, long weekend, this weekend.. tmr's a public hol for us. for horse racing.. SHEESH! imagine man, if we had a public hol for every horse race we have back in s'pore?? that'd be screwed! hahha..

just the other night i waited and waited and i came up empty.. is that a foreshadowing of next year???

2008-03-05T19:42:00.000+08:00

is it just so possible that u might have space enough in ur heart for 2??

2008-03-04T20:58:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey... so well im back in adelaide again.. starting sch again is pretty cool.. its like been a looonnngggg holiday, thoroughly enjoyed myself, but oh well. back to the ol grind i guess. the subs this sem are a whole lot more interesting.. they sound interesting to me tho. hahah. im doing statics, maths 1B, computing and electrical electronics.. so like all tgth, i have bout 22 credit hours? massive amt of it man.

staying in my aunt's house for the first week cos the hostel manager doesn have a room for me, not until monday. thank god man. i cant imagine myself moving immediately to that shithole whilst feeling depressed cos i miss home..

damnit man.. why did i ever listen to u?!?!?!?! now its jus eating me inside.
hate myself for not doing anything,
hate myself for not saying anything

2008-01-28T18:38:00.000+08:00

its 0044hrs again.. NOTTTT!!!! ahhaha. sorry. that was an inside joke with luds and nings. hahah. yeh. both of ya'll better be happy man!!! im blogging for u and i mentioned ur names!!

yeh.. today im supp to resume work again. i woke up this morn, looking fwd to working again.. and then bugger. i felt that sumth wasn quite right. then i realized that i lost my voice! wth man. how to go work??? i mean if i was doing admin work on the com or whatever, i can still work. harloooo.. im working for a telemarketing survey company lah! how to work? just call a candidate and remain silent?? hahah!!! so anyway, went to gerry's place to chill. hahah. shiok!!!

aiight then.. till the next time i blog again!!

2008-01-03T00:43:00.000+08:00

its 0044hrs now and im bloody bored.. cant blieve it. oh i was just like digging up some stuff and i found even more stuff that i wrote. that was during my 'poetic' phase.. im such a sucker for old school sappy romance. i act cant blieve that i wrote this poem. but looking back, its crazy. i wrote it so long ago.. and it still hasn been given to someone. but anyway, here goes. dun laugh aye??

I may not be who you think i am.
I may not be who you want me to be.
I may not be the smartest kid in the world.
I may not say the sweetest things.
But that's not why im here for.

I can be someone famous.
I can be ur perfect person.
I can be a top scholar.
I can be a smooth talker.
But that's not what im here for.

When u fall, i'll pick u up.
When u cry, i'll comfort you.
When ur sad, I'll cheer u up.
When ur angry, I'm ur punching bag.
That's what im here for.

When u talk, im listenin,
When we argue i'll let u win.
When you're bored, i'll take a hint.
When we're together, im all grins.
That's why im here...
Only for you!

hahah. yeh.. i tot i could finally give it to someone but i guess i jus lost my footing.. again.. sucha sad case. but oh well.

2007-12-19T02:02:00.000+08:00

i told myself i wouldn look
yet look again i did
damn you, you fool
all it did was break u further
live with it buddy,
with your heart on the floor

2007-12-18T01:07:00.000+08:00

i find it so funny... it seems now that me and gerry's home, we all just dun really find the need to blog.. and not only that. we always spend all our time out, such that we dun even stop by at the com.. and i guess if u rarely touch the com, the last thing on ur mind is to blog.. hahaha.

work's been crazy.. i really dun feel like going tmr.. cos tmr's gonna be bad. took leave today.. used the excuse of a bad stomach.. well, its not really a total lie.. i really did have a bad stomach.. yest and today. so well.. tmr, i gotta do 2 shifts, to cover what i missed. so i'll be working from 10 to 7. sian diao. and my momma aint fetching me from work. wotta pissant.

xmas is coming! i just realized!!! i dunno why! the xmas feeling isn hitting me yet???!!!!

2007-12-13T02:49:00.000+08:00

well, back in s'pore already.. italy's been a good break... i guess i should post some pictures, but i'll do that soon. damn lazy now. its like what.. 2.51am now? i cant slp. bloody jet lag.. and frustration at stuff.. stuff not happening. but what can i say. what can i do eh?

just got a job as well. it pays good. 7 smackeroos to the hour. just pick up phone and ask pple qns. i dun really wanna work, but what the hell, i need the extra dough. its a pissant.

i'm on the floor counting one minute more
no one to blame the silence
staring into the night
all alone but that's alright
it's the feeling deep inside
i don't like

there is no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart..
breaking my heart again......

2007-12-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

hooooo.. im currently in venice now!!! just reached this area. came from florence.. so far this place is pretty cool. the receptionists can speak engrish. hahh. im act stayin outside of venice... so we'll only head into the main island tmr. for now, the driver, my dad and the navigator, me, gotta take a long good night's rest. hahah.

din manage to slp much yest. for some strange reason or another.. couldn stop thinking... siao liao. i kinda have enuf of italy already i think. haha! dun need all these weird rude shits giving me rude answers as if they had a bad night of sex the night before. crazed idiots. some of these pple oughta review their tourism industry man. stupid shits.

cant wait to go home and see my cats.. italy is like filled with dogs man. its like a dog land man. EVERYBODY seems to have a dog. shops even allow dogs. of course u have a select few that dun allow dogs, but they're damn few. nazmi would so hate italy. HAHAH.

ah tan's got his already.. when's my turn?????? kns...

2007-11-25T02:39:00.000+08:00

WASSUP?!?!?!?!?! hahhah.. im in roma now.. this place is nice lah..but its massively frustrating. the drivers here are crazy.. they're not the m'sian kinda crazy but the indo kinda crazy.. they anyhow drive, and its difficult for me to get them drivin cos in italy, they're left hand drive? weirdness man.

wait lemme change what i said. roma is EFFING frustrating. all the fucktards are fucking rude. its like some kinda white supremacy thing as well. but like wth man.. those fuckers only know how to speak italian. and they wanna be biased towards us? a pissant.. if u ask me, they're just plain stupid. cos at least i noe how ta speak 2 languages man. all the hell they know how to do is speak one. at what then? u can only speak it in ur own country? stupid closed minded bastards.. but well, other than that, the sights are nice. but its like u noe, ur enjoyin urself, then only to have a rudetard spoil ur day? seriously.. the italians are NOT cut out for the tourism industry. bloody pissants..

i cant wait till im outta rome.. its just i think another night? and then we're off to napoli, firenze, venezia and milano. (naples, florence, venice, milan).. and then home!!! gerry's home and i cant wait to see her!!! hahaha...

gerry: hey dudete!!! hope ur havin fun back home yeh??? cant wait to be back! then we can all go shashlik ok? take care of urself, and the gui!! oh cant wait to mahjong as well. shiok! we're on hols man!!!!!

2007-11-11T12:39:00.000+08:00

wow.. i really havent touched my blog in a loooonnnngggg while mann.. exams have been horrendous.. well, i pretty much survived the killer weekend last week. cos one paper was on sat, then another on mon and tues.. it KILLED man. the papers went pretty well tho.. but all 3 papers were dangerous.. like i dunno if i can pass or not? i'd rather be definite with that status.. like oh, im def gonna pass.. or im def gonna fail.. cos then u dun need to worry already right? but no.. the papers were like shit.. i might fail man.. i might fail. sibeh sian diao lor.

im gon have my last paper tmr.. design graphics.. its easy in a sense, but difficult in another. i might screw it up. hahah. im prepared already.. i dun mind taking this sub again. its pretty fun. but technically, its a bitch. hoho.

the days are gettin hotter man. just awhile ago, it was cold.. before that it was hot.. haha. i tell u.. weather here is like a girl's moodswings.. hot cold hot cold one. hahaha!! but im going home soon!!! wahoo!!! cant wait cant wait!!!!

aku cinta kau.... tapi ku harap kau cinta aku juga!!!!

2007-10-28T18:00:00.000+08:00

wow.. its been such a long time since i last blogged.. been so bogged down by work and buay song-ness for the past couple of what.. weeks?? its been crazy man. its seriously fucked if u ask me..

uni is a massive bitch.. i dun understand my mods, and it REALLY doesn help when i have 3 exams in 3 consec days.. wah lao. sian diao. massively fucked man. oh well. trying my best now lah. but its really difficult. im like ah, just anyhow get past the exams and just get home man.. what the hell.. im seriously damn tired.. not tired. im like exhausted. hahaha. shites. cmon 18 nov!!!! i wanna go home, eat, and do the things im supp to do, and the things i wanna do...

A level peeps!!! good luck!! i noe how u feel!! but hang in there!! dun get all hopeless on urself!! ah meng! keep going yeh! i'll be back soon to play hockey with u!

TAY JIAZHI, CHUCK IS SMART, SWEET, NICE AND INNOCENT!!! SSNI!!
ok there.. i humoured u.. hahha. anything else u wanna add??? hoho

aiight.. back back to ARIAS and study!

2007-10-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

man man man... i just cant wait ta get home eh... the weather's startin ta get miserable again. piang. what they say is true man. how the weather here is like a girl's emotion. hot cold hot cold.. hahaha!!! cant wait ta go home and get hot weather or cold weather. when its hot, its hot. when it's cold (wet), its cold..

Things I miss bout home.....
- FOODD!!!! my god. cheap and good food. oil and everything. i think i miss me granma's hainanese chicken rice the most. 100% hainanese and full of love.

- predictable weather

- the girls.. frens act.. hahaha. over here, im massive brotherhood.

- going out at anytime and being able to get public transport easily. the damned buses here have a schedule and u better be there or else u'd have to friggin wait another 15mins. (for weekday peak hours. the rest are 30 mins)

- my room... the sofas, the sleepovers.. its waayyy better than this bachelor's pad i have over here.

- tapwater. my god. s'pore's tap water is the BOMB. it tastes wayy better than adelaide's.

- kopitiams! the atmosphere rocks! i think the first thing i must drink when im back is teh-C. or teh bing.

- UNLIMITED INTERNET ACCESS. internet in aussie is a bitch. u have internet quota and its bloody expensive

- CHEAP MOVIES. peeps back home, dun complain that movies are expensive. over here, its EX. and dun even bother ordering popcorn. apparently, sweet popcorn doesn't exist here.

- radio!!! radio stations here SUCK to the max. they play the same damned songs. i act heard one song being played thrice in one hour. wth... i miss power 98 and class 95. the best stations on earth...

i cant wait wait wait to go home..

anticipation, anticipation
it's making me late
it's keeping me waiting, waiting...---------Carly Simon

2007-10-10T01:04:00.000+08:00

man.. its a good mid-week night man. nazmi got a new sheesha bong for his bdae and he invited me and eizaaz up. it was cool. had a coupla drinks. and its all good.

its really weird here. there's a thunderstorm here. and it is sooo NOT like the thunderstorms we get back home. cos like back home, if there's a thunderstorm, it's accompanied by rain. over here, its DRY. no precipitation at all. AND, the frequency of the lightning and thunder, me and nazmi was like wtf.. u call this a thunderstorm??? wah lao. back home, thunderstorm is really stormed man.

when i look at you, i wonder
who put the stars in your eyes.....

2007-10-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

daylight's getting longer
flowers and trees bloomin all around
birds fly home and are chirping
what a great sight to see in the sun's glory
but what good is it when there's
no one to share the beauty with?

the night's getting shorter
the winds are calming down
and the stars are shining brightly overhead
what a great way to end a night
in peaceful serenity
but what good is it when there's
no one to share its calm with????

2007-09-30T09:44:00.000+08:00

it feels so weird.... really really really bloody weird.. and different... for the past 2 weeks i've been with gerry every single day but today i wake up, and she isn in my room.. or im not in her room. haha! i fell asleep last night in total silence, instead of having the tv on to either poker, rugby or MTV..

well, the past 2 weeks have been a great break for me. i was really exhausted before that and what better way to spend the hols than with my best fren eh? melb was great and even adelaide seemed to be a better place. hahahahha... din do much work, so im kinda dead when sch starts. me and gerry din really study when we were in adelaide. so when we headed to melb, we promised ourselves to do work. MY ASS MAN!!! in the end, i only managed 2 days studying out of 10. gerry was slightly better tho. hahahahha.

last night i was trying my best to keep myself out of my room or i'll seriously get depressed.. managed to get nazmi and eizaaz out of the hostel to head to the nearby bar to get a coupla drinks. it was closed, so in the end, we walked to 'sip and save' and bought 1/2 doz beer and some cheap whiskey. we went back to nazmi's room, and realized there was rugby matches airing live so we ordered pizza, kicked back and knocked in some booze. it was cool.. yeh..

bleah.. i miss that girl.. oh well, back to the ol' grind again.. gotta study study study (hopefully) and do good for the end year..

2007-09-22T21:20:00.000+08:00

hols have been nice man.. so so good that me and gerry's spending so much time tgth.. first she flew to adelaide, then both of us flew to melb tgth. sibeh shiok. all good bestie downtime man. its all good.. IT ROCKS!!!

after the hols, i'll maybe post a coupla pictures.. but u'd be able to check them all out on gerry's blog. damn cool! i think i look good in one picture. haha!

anw, today we went fishing.. WOOHOO!!! i caught 2!!! shiok! i contributed to the bbq! hahaha.. damn shiok. damn nice and lazy day. i've made up my mind.. im gonna make fishing my hobby, and its gonna be my retirement sport. HAHAHA. plan so far ahead already..

i was hanging out on gerry's balcony jus now.. and all of a sudden, there was fireworks!!! i wished there was someone standing right next to me man.. sigh...

2007-09-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna love you till the end
I'm gonna be your very true friend
I wanna share your ups and downs
I'm gonna be around

When you're alone cos I'm away
don't be sad, dont be afraid
I'm gonna turn my thoughts to you
Like I always do

I'm gonna love you till the end
I'm gonna be your very true friend
I wanna share your ups and downs
I'm gonna be around....

Catch you when you fall
Hold you when you're down.............

this song is for somebody.. u noe who u are...

michael learns to rock is the bomb man.. they're the king of ballads....

2007-09-12T09:19:00.000+08:00

crapabolie... this is crazy shit man... this my last week of sch and i just cant wait for it to finish off.. really need the break. but b4 that is over, i need to get over the big hurdle of having a mid semester exam for dynamics tmr. of which, is really difficult man. bleah. gerry's comin over tmr!!! WAHOO!!! and thank god, once i finish my nightmarish exam, i'll go immediately to pick her up! haha. shiok.

uni's crazed man. i just cant wait to get over my first year. first year engin is massively bad. it makes alot of pple think abt changing facs. but its after that where if u really have the passion, u'll just continue well. afterall, nobody takes engin cos they dunno what to do. its sheer madness man. lets just hope that year one doesn sap me of my engineering passion. hahah!!!!

he gives you gold and he promised you
the whole world will be yours
i just cant tell you i love you so
even though my odds are low....

2007-09-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

yeh... its massively time to update man.. thx lil gui..

well, today i went for the merdeka day (m'sia national day) dinner.. it was alrite.. the company was great man. tons of performances.. it said formal attire or traditional costume.. but i kinda had neither.. i din have pants, n i din have a tie but i had shirts.. so i borrowed vic's tie and i jus wore my black jeans.. cos cant see mah. felt really good bout myself. HAHHA! i dunno. its the thought of jus wearing a shirt and tie that's cool. i love it. i was pretty happy cos the shirt was act tight for me b4.. but then when i tried it on, it fit! but in pics, it looks a tad tight cos i was wearing a thermal singlet inside

shall post up pictures!! wahoo!!!

top from left: joeE, amir, eizaaz
bottom from left: amelia, sue, chloe, geraldine, char

joeE, amir, eizaaz

the girls, sue, chloe, geraldine, char

this one's hilarious! my good bro, nazmi. that booklet shows the prime ministers of m'sia.. and all of them were wearing songkok. so nazmi's comparin him and the PMs.. haha!!

me and mukh! damn smart looking that guy tonight.. but its funny.. nice suit, shirt, tie.. but look down and u see him wearin adidas sneakers.. HAHA

me and a good bro, eizaaz.. he's cool man.. nice tie and hat.

me and kieran have a goof off. haha! she's funny

this da BOMB man.. haha! vic wore his traditional costume. we joked we'd have to body check him for strap on bombs eh! osama in the making! hahah.

me, kieran, vic. those 2 are always arguing. and cos kieran's my neighbour, i hear it all. haha!

thats our whole dinner gang and a few more! nazmi, me, kieran, joeE, amelia, sue, amir, chloe, char, eizaaz, geraldine.

kieran said i looked like a corrupted business man!!

kieran, vic, me, hani.. hani's such a nice girl... so sad she moved out of the hostel. no fun..

thats pretty much the pictures i managed to kope from kieran and amir.. still got some other pics here and there. hahah. company was jus great man..

and one thing i need to say.. if ANYBODY does anything to any of my girls, u'll be a goner.. my heart pain when ah meng got slimed on her blog lah...

2007-08-22T14:53:00.001+08:00

wah lao.. im damn tired.. its friggin crazy. i slept today at like 5am.. cos i had work to do. i had to do an engineering drawing, and do my dynamics online quiz.. so i started at like 8pm last night.. asked nazmi to help me w/ my ellipses but he taught me the wrong thing.. so i ended the friggin drawing at 3am.. and also, at friggin 2am, the stupid fire alarm went off lah! SIAO EH!! we were all evacuated downstairs and we were cursing.. which fucktard go and set off the alarm at friggin 2am right?! haha. damn stupid. so anw. finished the drawing at 3am.. then i only had one hour to do my dynamics online quiz. the thing closed at 4am.. but after i did one qn wrongly like twice, i gave up.. so i only answered 2 answers out of 6. so i got 18/60 for the stupid thing. im pissed. but im more tired than pissed....

ok.. for the first time in my life... i cannot sing and play the guit at the same time.. i am having difficulty singing tracy chapman's fast car while playing the guit. hahaha. it is damn difficult man! startin to get the hang of it but its crazy..

i remember when we were driving
driving in your car
speeds so fast i felt like i was drunk
city lights lay out before us
your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder
and I, I had a feeling that I belong
and I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone

2007-08-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

cant seem to slp.. sigh. im just up till late. its jus.. i dunno. it just massively fill ups my brain capacity. there's loads of work to do but those thoughts are always running thru my mind. at least it doesn really warp up my mind when i need to conc on work. but its like if i dun put in 100% conc, if its jus 98, there'll be 2% of it at the back of my head...

slp slp slp slp damnit..

oh im kinda writing a new song.. i've so far managed to write only what.. 3, 4 lines? but i've already decided on a title for the song. Higher Calling. yep! nice sounding title. im pretty excited bout the song..

i blame you for the moonlit sky
and the dream that died, with the eagle's flight
i blame you for the moonlit nights
when i wonder why, are the seas still dry
don't blame this sleeping satellite.......

2007-08-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

hmphhh... geraldine tay su juan aka dudete aka great wall of china (GWOC) aka my best fren bestowed such a lovely game on me..

Each player of this game starts off with TEN weird habits or little known things about yourself.
People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own TEN weird or little known facts about yourself as well as state this rules clearly. At the end, you must choose 6 people to tag and list their names. NO TAG BACKS.

ok.. here goes dudete!!

1) im pretty touchy.. not in the pms sense.. and not in the se lang perverted sense. for some strange reason, i find myself, or more embarrasingly, gerry finds me brushing my fingertips on a table or sumth.. or something that i have my hands on. its jus weird. UBER weird.

2) I PLAY THE PIANO... yup.. pple here think im massively hard core rock or sumth and play only the guit. but i can play the piano, tho not so well. i hate playing classical pieces cos they remind me too much of ABRSM piano lessons. i play chords. and that leads me on to my next point..

3) i can ACTUALLY sing a couple of chinese songs now.. good god.. its crazed. its funny cos i absolutely hate chinese songs. i can play jay chou's an jing on the piano! and corrine may's mr beasley.. oh and i can sing qing tian along with the guit! yayyy.. maybe i did that to branch out to the chinese girls. heh heh. oh.. and me and my bro clement love singing the chinese parodies that he made up.. things like tong hua and andy lau's wang quan shui i think??

4) like gerry, my hugs differ from pple to pple.. i have 3 ways of huggin pple. if im close to somebody, my arms go under the huggees arms. if its between 'bros' and bros, its either one arm goes down, one arm goes up, or we do a high five followed by a blood shake and the other hand goes round and pats the person on the back.. yep!! its a sacred bond between bros.. hahahah.. shows macho-ism. MUAHAHHA. think gerry's gon kill me.

5) i can fold paper cranes sizes smaller than my pinky!!! yup! i love origami.. pple find it weird how im able to fold paper cranes so small when my thumbs are so huge.. and mind u, i dun fold them with toothpicks.. i jus use my fingers..

6) i have weird pet names btwn wu gui and gerry.. for wu gui, she calls me pooky.. u noe garfield's teddy bear? yehhh. he's cute.. oh and whats even more hilarious is that in malay, puki (which has the same pronounciation as pooky) means cheebai. so there was once i said to wu gui: of course i noe what, im ur pooky.. hahaha. and basically, that means: of course i noe what.. im ur cheebai!! hahahaha!!!
well for gerry, she calls me poo.. yep.. u got that right. poo as in shit. cos she loves going huggies on msn when she's offerin hugs. so since huggies is the brand of diapers, im poo.. HAHAHAHAH!!

7) i sleep with a soft toy.. no.. im not being a wuss.. u noe action city has one line of turtles? the one called torto is it? yeh.. it represents wu gui... and its name isn torto.. its bobbina.. because it so closely represents wu gui, (they even have the same smile), when wu gui gets her leg or arm injured, i put a plaster on a paw of bobbina. HAHAHAH. i dun have a soft toy representing gerry.. and i definitely cannot slp with diapers on my bed. HAHAH

8) i love flowers, i love giving away flowers, but im allergic to them. oh and i used to work in a florist part time. tho i kinda got sacked cos i kept sneezing in the shop and it was during the SARS period. so i kinda drove a couple of customers away. but when its V-day, i go to the warehouse floral shop and get roses by dozens and i wrap bouquets myself.

9) im an extremely practical person and i dun spend much on myself, but at the end of the day, im still a broke ass cos i spend my money on other pple.. might be a good thing, might be a bad thing. hahaha. (somebody, pls start singing backstreet boys..) and my brokest point in a year is during march, sept and dec. waiting for a special somebody to make me broke in another part of the year.

10) IM DAMN LAME. yup. tho that one i think everybody noes already. gerry's always "wth, whats so funny" with me.. but erm.. to show my lameness, me and reena christabel rajamohan formed a twin name.. we're called the CHINDIAN twins.. hahaha!!! why im sure u can figure out. also wit me and luddy, we formed the MAT.. that means Mad Ass Twins. and tgth we come up with the lamest shit on earth. i tell u.. im the most comfortable being lame with chap my bong and luddy.. cos they come up with tons of shit as well.. well appreciated twins!!!!

aye aiight!! that be the 10 weird crap/ things pple dont know bout me.. so here's my list of 6:
1- luddy (MAT)
2- bro
3- mengqi (ah meng)
4- reena (chap my bong) highly doubt she'll do it. haha
5- priscilla (nana prissy)
6- hell i'll just stop at 5. hahahaha

aiight! now to go rest my brain from all that hard thinking..

lil gui! u go and bully ur jrs and get them to do this!! hahahah..

2007-08-13T09:21:00.000+08:00

SUP YO!!! man.. haven been bloggin for awhile cos i dunno.. blogger was kinda screwed up and all..

the s'pore assoc here is pretty alrite.. for national day, they organized like a dinner lahh.. the party was boring but we made it hilarious man.. met new mates and all. its all good. i really wanted to be home watching the fireworks man!! and like its weird.. when ur back home, watching the parade is like er.. boring.. but now that im here, im jus like.. CMON!! I WANNA WATCH!!! hahaha..

the weekend was boring.. i was jus so sian of doin work so i jus loafed arnd for the weekend. i was so guilty of doin absolutely nothing. except whack cs on the com.. buay tahan..

its the start of a new week.. sigh.. slog it back to uni.. boring shites man. HELP ME SOMEBODY!!!! man.. the uni's gotta draw me in further man... shheesh.

i could never take the place of your man..

2007-08-07T22:22:00.001+08:00

my gosh.. im almost dead... i really jus wanna go home and do things from home.. i jus wanna do stuff that i cant do cos im here. sigh. oh well.

uni is kinda coming along well i think.. not that bad now.. but i think im still pretty fucked for my materials 1 module. design graphics is jus cool.. way cool. i love that module the most. cos i like scale drawings. but then well, i jus started that module.. so heh heh. hopefully that passion still carries. if not i'll jus die. cos the drawings are damn specific and i gotta be meticulous in drawing. my dynamics module is going pretty alrite. i dunno some stuff, but thats alrite. at least i have a slight idea of what's goin on.. and for maths, its crazy. i noe one part, but the other, is jus bullshit. no idea what the hell the lecturer's saying. hahaha.

i am a rocketman!!!

2007-08-05T01:43:00.000+08:00

here's the lyrics for my song!!!!

It's You
I don't know what I'm doing with my life
I don't understand what I'm going through right now
The lonely nights of putting up in my room
Maybe something is really missing in my life

In a crowded place yet somehow I feel all alone
Everybody's talking but I just drown out the sound
It doesn't help as the heavens rain down on me
I guess there really is a gaping hole in my heart

I don't know how to say it
And I don't know how to phrase it
But I know as much is true, that it's you

It's you, the ever elusive prize
And it's you, who holds the keys to my heart
It's you, who holds the stars up in the sky
And it's you, there's no denying, that it's you
It's you

The nights are long as I struggle without you
Can't wait till the next time that I see you again
Nothing matters when you're not around me
Maybe baby, you're the one who makes me whole

I don't know how to say it
And I don't know how to phrase it
But I know as much is true, that it's you

It's you, the ever elusive prize
And it's you, who holds the keys to my heart
It's you, who holds the stars up in the sky
And it's you, there's no denying, that it's you
It's you

I don't know how to say it
I don't know how to phrase it
But I know as much is true, that it's you

2007-08-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

ALRIGHT!!!!!! i've just finished recording my new song!!! finally!!!!! i enjoyed composing and recording this song. its just been too long since i last recorded a song so this is really a breath of fresh air? i love this song. it pretty much got a load off my chest. so yep.

anyway, pls go visit my music page link??? u can download the song or just play it hi-stream or lo-stream.. and there's lyrics too. just click on the question mark and it'll give u the lyrics.

http://fang.dmusic.com

thank you!!!

2007-07-31T21:12:00.000+08:00

oh man.. uni is massively pissing me off.. bleah! i skipped a consultation tutorial today cos i couldn get my hmwk from the AU website cos something's wrong with my account. i felt like killing myself. i was already in the lecture hall for the tut. then i realized it was a consultation. then i looked on my right and i saw a tutorial qn sheet.. asked the buddy behind me how he got his qn sheet and he said on the myuni webbie.. i was like oh great. no sense in me bein here, so i zao. SHITES man.

oh well.. on a lighter note, IM WRITING A NEW SONG!!!! whoa like finally!!! so far, no inspiration has struck me. but i think im doin pretty ok in this one. verse 1 and verse 2 and some sort of a prechorus. once its done, i'll def put up the lyrics and then post the link for the recording of my song. hopefully, that goes well.. for now, the title of the song is "it's you"

other that, nothing much to shout abt really.. hahaha.. nothing much nope..

2007-07-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

sitting all alone in an empty room
with an even emptier space to fill

thats all i managed to write... sigh... i just cant.. i just cant!!!

whoa.. my tagboard is like finally up!

clement: AH TAN! dun be an idiot. hahaha. the lectures are damn bloody tiring what! and u dun come and anyhow say ah.. i can still explain things to u ok! like when is AB and BA defined ok!!!

2007-07-23T19:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!

finally turned 19.. for everybody that sent me smses wishing me a happy birthday, thank you!!

today's an extremely low key day for me.. hahaha... uni started and i went for my first 2 lectures of the semester.. din noe anyone.. tho slowly things will start working out.. hahah.. cmon man. its lecture.. so bloody big.. and its not like in ac where u sit in a class for lectures.. hell.. these pple jus come and go man. hahhaha!

so anw.. nothing much has been going on.. 2nd day of uni tmr.. pple, keep wishing me luck!!!

and im gettin better at foosball tooo!!! woooohhoooo!!!

2007-07-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

i just dunno what to type anymore.. everything's jus piling up.. the things that needs to be done.. the things that needs to happen.. and the things that need to be said..

can YOU help me? birthday wish pls come true...

2007-07-19T14:13:00.000+08:00

yo... this thing is killin me man.. uni's a whole load of bullshit.. went to the international office yest and they said that oh, my documents weren't being attended to and then l8r things got sorted out but i still need to wait for a confirmation of enrolment (CoE) which would be sent to my email by today. bloody hell.. i checked at noon and none of my email accts got a new email.

went to uni, up to the office and checked with them again. then they said that oh, payment dept already has my documents and they need to process them.. and she told me to wait till tmr morning.. WHAT THE FUCK LAH.. they told my bro to wait for a day, he ended up waiting for DAYS. and u noe what's the big deal abt this? uni proper starts THIS coming monday.. and i still haven enrolled.. ADELAIDE UNI, STOP BEING A SCREW UP.. this is really eating me man. everywhere i go seems to be a dead end, n i dunno the next step from there once the dead end becomes an opening. its crazy!

but anw.. on a lighter note... i miss gerry and the gui!!!!! bahhh..

oh.. and i think im falling sick too. from the cold man. adelaide nights are COOOLLDDD..

2007-07-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

sup yo... back in miserable and cold adelaide.. today din do much. i was jus way too tired to head to uni.. so i jus sat arnd the hostel with haley and we jus talked and watched tv. plus i had to get used to adelaide life again? so it was a massive bummer..

man.. adelaide u is such a screw up.. the plan was that i touch down then give ah tan a call so he can fill me in on the enrolment stuff cos i missed it.. when i called him, he himself couldn complete his enrolment and there was like damn alot of stuff which i dun have also and so i cant enrol as well.. it is BLOODY screwed. but oh well. i made use of today.. managed to catch up on a fair bit of rest.. i was sooo tired from the flight. and my swelling was acting up as well? really hurt man.

gd thing i din go uni as well. gave me a chance to really slowly assimulate back into adelaide life. i MASSIVELY MISS EVERYBODY!!!!! so yeh. today was my chance to somewhat go cold turkey. tho cold is an understatement. it is FREEZING. literally and figuratively. HAHAH. it is raining now. what the hell.. it can really get u down sometimes.. but its not getting me down!! so thats gd!!

2007-07-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

sigh.. time is flying so fast man. im leaving pretty soon.. on monday.. crapabolie man. dun think i really spent every min well.. but there's no regrets.. its great bein home..

extracted my wisdom tooth on monday.. up to now, my cheeks are still swollen and all. its crazy! it doesn really hurt anymore? its jus a state of discomfort thats all. i think monday was really the most painful day. it hurt SO bad, i was tearing.. cross my heart man. my threshold of pain is really high.. but at that time, it was like oh god.. kill me now. hahaha!!!

oh well. butch hunt's tonight. the girls are already there.. dunno.. clubbing's not really my scene anymore. its alright.. like once in awhile. but haha. frankly im sick of it already. i've had my fair share of it..

2007-07-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

u will never see, u will never noe and u will never understand...
things have changed and i think im up to my neck with it..
im jus tired of this shit.

2007-07-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

hey hey.. hows it all going??? i finally acclimatised to the weather.. not sweating as much as when i first came home. so thats a gd thing.. been havin loads of fun. gosh.. i have to man. studied so hard already, if i dun play hard, i think i should jus shoot myself.

extracted my wisdom tooth today.. MOTHER HURTS LAH DAMNIT!!!! sigh. then cannot eat also. bloody hell. i cant chew, so all i do is swallow.. its mother crazy!!! i damn cant blieve this. my stitches come off only on friday.. so i neeed to figure out what to do with all the other meals. sigh. only porridge and what not. how to eat until full?? maybe i lose weight lah!hahahaha.

aiight. gon go rest me mouth man. i dunno.. everything is like linked to the pain sia. u jus touch me abit and i feel pain. haha. like everything is amplified in the mouth. hahahha. bummer man. i am massively buggered.

2007-07-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

if only i could say what i wanted to say and jus forget bout everything else. but even then, these words are hard to come by.. it is far too complex, unless i think it is.. but sigh.. it sucks when i cant even tell u...

2007-07-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

sup yo.. exams have ended!!!! like finally!!! well not really. it ended on sat.. but cmon man.. how can i come back to my com and blog after the exams? i pretty much have gotta take a chill pill and party aye? hahah.. so anw, sat was my last paper.. it was specialist math and it was crazily long and typically, i din finish the paper. so that one, with the qns that i've done, i really hope it'll get me at least a good distinction. im not even asking for a high distinction..

after the paper, me and my mates we headed down to handorf, this german village up in the hills. real nice place.. nice quiet quaint old town. had good bratwurst sausages with the best mustard on this planet.. and then, me and my fren, joeE, we went to buy a one litre beer.. ONE FRIGGIN LITRE. the mug itself held one litre. mother giant i tell u. so he wolfed down half, and then i had to wolf down the other half. i tell u.. thats one of the best pilsner i've drank. my fren took a video of us doing that. when he posts it up on youtube, i'll put the link up. u have GOT to see how gigantic the mug was. oh then at night, we bought a bottle of bacardi 151 and chilled out at a bro's room and all of us had shots. it was NICE.

sunday... oh me, eizaaz, joeE, char and sue went to the museum to see the egyptian case. it was good. all exhibits was from the louvre direct. it was massively gd stuff. but we went on the last day so it was PACKED. after that, we went to meet the rest of my hostel mates down at the movies.. amir treated all of us to a movie.. TRANSFORMERS!!!! wah lao!! megan fox is damn mother hot!!! ok.. she's gonna be my onscreen crush now.. wah lao.. it was damn funny, me and my bros were all fighting to 'get' her.. hahahah!!! but yeh.. she's really hot..

today.. did nothing much yeh.. jus headed out to town real late, got tan and allen and we went to central market to buy food.. then came back to cook for my classmates.. it was gd stuff. they really loved my food. so thats great!!!! tmr.. gonna head to town late again.. then go play cs!!! man.. counterstrike showdown sia!!!

IM COMING HOME SOOON!!!!!!! man cant wait cant wait cant wait!!!!!

AUTOBOTS!! TRANSFORM AND MOVE OUT!!!

2007-06-28T14:22:00.000+08:00

sup yo... couldn blog last night.. was cramming like mad man. cos this morning had physics paper.. well, the math paper was alrite. it was act really good man. and like the setter is known to set realyl difficult papers but i managed to do it all in good time and was kinda able to check things lah. i jus hope i dun make those stupid careless mistakes.. really looking fwd to a HD if i can..

this morn had phys.. i wasn as prepared as for maths.. i managed to finish off almost all of the qns except for one where i really din noe how to do superposition of test charges.. that one, jus hoping for a D.. but hopefully it'll be a HD as well.

im in the library now.. i guess im supp to be studying my specialist math.. but i really no mood to do anything man.. im massively buggered from the math and physics paper.. but oh well.. its my last paper.. i guess i should try and end it off with a bang...

2007-06-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

2nd paper today.. english.. it was alrite.. well 2 down, 3 more to go.. the next 2 papers is gonna be a mad rush. 2 days back to back. one day's in the aft, the other's in the morn. so no time to exactly study for the 4th paper after the 3rd paper's done...

back's massively hurting.. gonna go see the sinseh tmr.. go get accupuncture done.. then head to the library and camp there again... bo pian lah. need to WHACK man.. i noe its wishful thinking, but i hope that my back gets better b4 i head back home.. bleah.

wo cai bu yao dang cheng yi ge di san ze...

2007-06-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

had my first paper today... bloody hell.. critical thinking.. it was BULLSHIT. this semester's work is primarily on philosophy man.. and like there were 3 components. 1st part was to see if certain statements were arguments. what kind of arguments they were, whether deductive or inductive, valid or invalid, sound or unsound. that part is ok. if u study, it should be ok. yes there are struggles, but other than that, its alright. 2nd component was a thinking paradigm of which we used a thinking tool to understand an article. thats alright. likewise, if u study, its fine. but the last part, was FUCKED. we had to determine which argument is the most persuasive based on the 2nd article. somehow, the 2nd article managed to link up capitalism and environmentalism AND political ideology. of which nobody revised.. politics was covered in last semester's work. so NOBODY understood what the 2nd article meant. we had to write an essay on sumth that NOBODY understood... GREAT. if i found it difficult, can u imagine what the other china chinese pple went thru?! what an idiot man, the setter...

but anw, thats the first paper. one down, 4 more to go. its over, what can i say. gotta try my best for the rest. i have english on monday, so hopefully, HOPEFULLY, it will go smoothly. BAH. of which, the english teachers have already hinted that its gonna be difficult. bummer. DAMN U EXAMS!!!

oh well.. im coming home sooon!!!!!!

tiam tiam kali aku balik kampung, benda ini jadi lagi, puki mak! pantat!! kepala butoh sial!

2007-06-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

I HAVE BREAKING NEWS.....

first up!! my fren managed to plait my tail.. my hair is jus abt THAT long.. tho it was abit messy cos my hair is like massively layered right? hahah. its crazy.

SECOND NEWS!!! FOO FUN TING IS NOW OFFICIALLY A DAMN GEEK. yes u got that right.. damnit.. i camped out in the library from 3pm all the way to 10pm. my god. someone pls kill me. and i think i'll be doin the same thing today and tmr.. and tmr tmr.. great..

and yes.. thats it for breaking news... hahahah.. last night was kinda hilarious as well.. me and my bro, nazmi, we were both sick aye? and it was damn funny cos he ran out of medication.. and i ran out in the lozenge dept.. so we were like trading medication.. man.. tell u.. this flu is goin arnd man. its crazy! and the thing is that im infecting my frens. which is quite bad. i jus realized what goes on in myself... when a cold is being passed arnd, i mite not catch it.. but once i do, everybody has to watch out cos i pass it on really easily. its like cos my immune system is so strong, that by the time i act fall sick, its almost like a 'superbug'.. so yup. pple catch it REALLY easily from me.

writing in riddles no one understands leaves pple up to their imagination... a strong tendency to fall in the hole..

2007-06-18T10:15:00.000+08:00

went to see the doc jus now.. i din have to pay for the doctor cos it was covered, but i had to pay for the prescription.. i think its pretty screwed up here.. u noe back home, u see the doctor, then he'll write down the prescription and then hand it to the receptionist and then she takes the medicine right? over here its diff.. u go see the doctor.. get the prescription.. then bring it to the pharmacy to get it filled. so mafan.. sheesh!! but oh well.. i paid 22 bucks for the medicine.. so i guess thats alrite.. cos like u noe, by the time u see the doc at home and get the medicine, its 25 odd bucks. but then again. remind me to either not fall sick again.. or make sure that once i graduate, i go str8 back home. so bloody expensive man..

its been too long.. jus wayy too long..

2007-06-16T09:24:00.000+08:00

curse it man... im sibeh bloody suay.. im sick.. oh great. got a bloody cold thats really shoved up in my nose and im nasal.. and my back hurts.. ah screw it. gotta try and get over this cold asap. my damn exams are coming man! so suay.

u noe what made it worse? oh the irony of it... the other night, nazmi and eizaaz wanted to go to the nearby petrol kiosk and asked me along.. and i was like oh ok. sure.. it was cold out man.. the temp itself was cold but no winds. so we were walking then all of a sudden, eizaaz started coughing.. and i took off my jacket and gave it to him saying u better not catch a cold. i think ur jacket not warm enuf for u... so i walked in bout 6 deg temp without a jacket.. hahahahha.. tsk tsk. oh well. thats alrite. i tried to slp the cold off yest.. but now, well, it isn exactly going away yet. so i figure im gonna rest in again. so yeh.

2007-06-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

well.. in an empty room again.. trying hard to study..

today's the queen's bdae... so public hol... a day to rest a day to study..

i was jus thinking. its weird. i always write sad songs right, but when im happy, no songs come out. i think composing is my way of alleviating the pain and depression.. and whats getting to me is that right now in the midst of depression once again, no songs are coming out. which might be a gd thing cos im channeling it into studying to get my mind off things.

The world was on fire but no one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make a foolish person do
I never dreamt that I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamt that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break ur heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break ur heart)
With you

What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you

No I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break ur heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break ur heart)

The world was on fire no one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make a foolish person do
I never dreamt that I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamt that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break ur heart)
No I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break ur heart)
With you

Nobody.. loves no one...

aiight buddy.. start crammin!

2007-06-09T02:22:00.000+08:00

exams coming soon.. so this entry would be a gd one..

Psalms 23 (student versh 0.1)
The Lord is my Shepherd,
I shall not flunk.
He keepeth me from lying down
When I should be studying.

He leadeth me beside the
water cooler for a study break.
He restores my faith in study guides.
He leads me to better study habits.
For my grades' sake.

Yea, though I walk through
the valley of borderline grades,
For thou art with me.
My prayers and my friends,
they comfort me.

Thou givest me the answer
in monents of blankness.
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
My test paper runneth over
with questions I recognize.

Surely passing grades and
flying colours shall follow me.
All the days of my examinations
And I shall not have to
dwell in this exam hall forever.

hahah! gd eh?!?!?!?! yeh.. well.. i was jus thinking bout life in aussie.. and its crazy.. the smallest things we take for granted for back home. things i take for granted:
- transport system
- food
- weather
- stationery
- TOILET PAPER

yes u heard me right.. toilet paper.. my god.. the toilet paper here is WHACKED. i mean of course if u head out to the supermarkets, u can get gd toilet paper. but im jus talkin bout like public toilets in general. everywhere's ONE-ply. what the hell. even 2-ply is whacked. its like wah lao. the stupid orang putihs, ang mohs, mat sallehs are crazy man. their ass so fragile ah?! wth man.

today was jus whacked for some strange reason. just felt like extreme crap. started getting depressed.. just trying to put my xin shi hua on hold. its massively fucked. nothing's working out. i highly doubt it'll work out. it never has. and its pissifying. but anw, today me and my bro, nazmi was uber depressed right. and we jus decided to not sit arnd feeling depressed, so we managed to round up frens and had drinks. which was alrite. it was gd.

its jus a nagging feeling.. u wouldn even noe it....

2007-06-07T20:36:00.000+08:00

i am ready... to come home...

still got a long way more tho. gotta get thru my exams first sia. a pain in the arse. i cant afford to slow down now man. but aiya. bo pian sai lah.

2007-06-02T23:43:00.000+08:00

just went to watch pirates of the carribean 3 with me mates jus now.. friggin hilarious!! the show was gd man. i din watch pirates 1 and 2, so a couple of us congregated in zaaz's room and watched pirates 2 jus b4 we left for the cinema. so i was pretty up to date. it was GOOD man. gd fighting. great laughing scenes here and there. chow yun fatt's acting was like bleah tho. neither here nor there. and its funny how s'pore sued the movie cos he said.. welcome to singapore!!! hahahahha. thats a bloody gd one. tho i think if they used temasek, it wouldn have been so bad.

well.... dunno if the pple who watched pirates 3 stayed back all the way to the end of the credits.. it was funny. kiera knightley walked up to the cliff with her son.. then all of a sudden, the camera moved to orlando bloom and stayed there for awhile and his pose was hanging off the mast aye.. then all the girls was like ooohhhh!!! orlando bloom!!! ahhhhhh!!!! and then i was like.. aiya! enuf of orlando bloom!! bring on kiera knightley!!!! hahhahaha. she's hot..

if i asked, would you say yes
together we're the very best

2007-06-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

i sit myself in an empty room
thoughts of you echo all around
overwhelmed i shut it out
yet the silence is haunting

i lay myself in an empty bed
trying hard to shut my eyes and drift
the darkness swallows wholly
wide awake i stay with my demons

walking in a busy street
aimlessly my feet carry me
bumping into people nonchalantly
nothing really matters anymore

2007-05-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

i keep making the same mistake
not just once but over and over
i think ur hard to get over
wrong way on a one way track...
im neither here nor there

2007-05-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

WAH LAO!!! IT WAS FRIGGING HAILING JUS NOW LAH!!!

its damn cool!!!! its friggin not snow.. its friggin ice pellets!!!! but it was really small... its pellets man. not like those kinda shaved ice u get from ice kachang.. but its crazed man!!! i tot it rained real heavily cos it was damn loud but nazmi came running into my room saying it was hailing.. wah lao. sibeh cool man...

like the supernova up in the sky
the only bright light shining down
don't you feel oh so lonesome
and depressed when the clouds pass you by

2007-05-29T14:15:00.000+08:00

haven been able to update successfully the last coupla times.. its been irritating.. the server over in my hostel's like crashing non stop. so haven been online as well. its a big pissant man.

jus got my exam timetable today..
SHIT MAN.. its bloody fucked up.. that fucking student advisor,Jenny, said that 3rd July is the earliest i can leave cos 2nd July is the last day of exams.. APPARENTLY NOT! right now, my timetable says that 30 June is my last day of exams.. and there's sumth seriously wrong with bradford college. we have tests on saturday as well. what the fuck man.. did i tell u how screwed up jenny is? she's a student advisor, and u'd expect student advisors to at least have the telephone no of the unis across aussie right? my fren went up to her to ask bout entrance into the med faculty in another part of aussie. and for verification, she asked jenny to give a ring to uni of tasmania to check. and jenny, u noe what she said?! she said u noe what, i'd google it.. when i heard it from my mate, i was screaming.. wtf man! maybe she should google what a student advisor is. and my god.. its crazy. she takes leave like nobody's business. if she was doin that back home, she'd be bloody sacked! what a fucker man.

i've been uber tired.. alot of things weighing me down. but so far its been alrite.
who's the one standing right in front of me now??

2007-05-23T23:57:00.000+08:00

beribu bintang dilangit kini menghilang
meraba aku dalam kelam
rangbulan mengambang kini makin suram
pudar ilhamku tanpa ara

sedetik wajahmu munchol dalam diam
ada kirdipan ada sinar
itukah bintang ataupun rangbulan
terima kasih ku ucapkan

izinkanku mencuri hayalan deganmu
izinkanku mencuri bayangan wajahmu

maafkanlah oh
andai lagu ini mengangu ruangan hidupmu
kau seyumlah oh
sekedar memori kita di arena ini

kau ilhamku
kau ilhamku

that song's the malay song i was talkin bout.. kau ilhamku. its a nice song.

for a person who has new found confidence, tsk..
hey buddy, sumth tells me it wont work!

2007-05-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

there's nothing to come home to..

im uber hooked onto snow patrol's signal fire. the spidey 3 soundtrack? yeh. its funny... for certain lines, i feel like singing the opp. hahahah

the perfect words always came to my mind, but i had nobody to say it to... i could be stuck here for a thousand years or more if no one drags me out. No I dun wanna wait forever..

im really dragging my ass arnd now. there is some sort of motivation for the mid term goal. but w/o the short term goal, i feel like GAH.. well.. its not even a goal damnit.. sigh. this is crap can..

come on buddy.. lumber up! load up those jugs and get hammered!!!

2007-05-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

yest was like i think one of the lower days in my life. its act the lowest day of my adelaide life so far. dunno why. it was jus UBER depressing. i jus din talk much, din laugh at all.. smile jus a bit here and there.. it was jus screwed man. think it musta been jus cooping up in my room for too much. bloody hell man. its like my room's my jail cell. last time i was with my aunty, that was alrite.. cos like it was more than a house, it was a home. even if i got too cooped up in my room, i could walk arnd, go find food, watch tv comfortably and all. here its jus abit too crazed lah.

gerry had a gd suggestion.. get out of the house.. go ta library or sumth.. cos i needed to study. i think im burning out. for some strange reason. so like im damn tired of studying.. then on top of that, see these depressing walls surround me.. it was CRAZED man.. and yeh. i REALLY REALLY REALLY miss everybody back home.. i wanna come home soon damnit!

anyway.. sumth real funny happend today. well my mom's boss was in town visiting her son. so she called me out for lunch. we arranged to meet outside starbucks at 1pm.. and i wanna make a gd impression so i got there early by what. 10 mins? and jus stood outside and waited.. then l8r, this lady walks out of starbucks and jus stands there. and its damn funny.. cos we were both jus waiting, staring at opposite directions. then i was like shit man. did i get the time correct? so i rocked up to the lady and asked her for the time, and she said oh, its 1pm. and i was like thanks. im jus waiting for someone. then i walk back to my spot, which is like 2m away? then i start thinking.. wow. i havent met aunty gangadei for like damn long lah! i oly met her once.. then i was like hmm.. how does she look like? yeh yeh.. short.. indian.. and then i turn round to the lady and went.. aunty gangadei???? and it was her!!! ahhahaha! so we stood there, like idiots, FOR TEN MINUTES, for each other! when we're like what.. just TWO METRES AWAY?!?!?!? HAHAHA!!! but anyhow, lunch was good.

hmm.. what else have i been up to?? oh yah! im tryin ta learn this malay song, called kau ilhamku. translated, it means you're my inspiration. its like the qing fei de yi/ an jing of malay songs.. and like shit man. u noe how sometimes when u do direct translations, its either the meaning is totally off, or u get some screwed up shit? there's a line in the song.. it's "meraba aku dalam kelam" and when u directly translate that, it reads, "i have been molested by u in the dark".. HAHAHAH! my bro told me and i jus DIED laughing man.. he's been tryin ta teach me how ta sing the song. so its all cool..

should pretty much head back to work.. peace out!

2007-05-02T20:05:00.000+08:00

back to the old grind again.. BUT FIRST! gotta post up pics man.. on the weekend b4 we headed back to sch, we decided to finish the hols off with a bang.. so on sat, we went to tea tree via the O-Bahn.. O-Bahn is like where the super fast bus is. basically, the buses get onto a track.. and they're allowed to speed up to 100km/h. ahha. woohoo!! so well.. me, nazmi and eizaaz jus wanted to do the O-Bahn.. and the girls wanted to go tea tree to shop.. so i guess all's well! and then on sunday.. we went to Handorf.. its like a german town away from the city. its situated on the way to mount barker. so its pretty high up. pretty gd mountain weather. 2 of my frens zao tho. cos by the time me, eizaaz and nazmi headed to town, the bus to handorf left and we gotta wait for another hour. so yeh. and handorf is bout an hour's bus away. so yeh.. well.. PICS!!

the first 4 was taken on sat.. on our way to O-Bahn, waiting for the damn bus.. bleah.

thats nazmi with char's red umbrella.. he's hilarious.. he's uber afraid of the cold. crazed! he got a massive hooded jacket with fur lacing.. like some kinda eskimo..

thats my bro eizaaz. great to have him back. he went back to m'sia. he can be such a girl sometimes. he wanted to have his picture taken with the pink brolly... hahaha!!!

me, char, sue.. it wasn like freezin cold but we wore jackets cos they were water-proof. the rain was horrible man..

char, sue, amelia, joee.. me, zaaz and nazmi was like join wah joee!!! u taking 3 girls on at one time ah! hahahah

aiight. from here.. its our handorf trip!!

nazmi.. he's one cool dude man. bloody cool to hang round..

zaaz, nazmi and me.. we was waitin for the bus and adelaide buses are DAMN MOTHER infrequent.. so yeh. out of boredom jus keep snapping..

from back to front, nazmi, amelia, zaaz and me.. that was on our way to handorf at last!!

amelia, nazmi and me.. we finally arrived!! hmm. i look smaller.. hahaha!

zaaz and amelia.. we were outside a candy shop. as u can see, it rained and it was a huge bummer man..

amelia, me and nazmi.. we were havin lunch.. bratwurst sausages.. and thats me with a scone entering my mouth.. man man man.. the scone felt GOOD..

i must say im a dirty eater eh?? ahhaha

me bros.. nazmi and zaaz..

thats us outside the restaurant at where we ate.. we made sure we took the sign as well to rmb which restaurant to head back again in july.. i ate there like 4 years ago... and man. it still rocks!

nazmi jus playin the fool with the cannon man.. but pretty cool.

that one is mighty hilarious man!!! and it was funny cos like b4 we headed up to the cannon to take stupid pics, nazmi and amelia were the gunners (arsenal) fans while i was the only red devils fan. so they said.. eh!! look!! the gunners are gonna shoot the red devil down!!!

eizaaz at the wishing well.. i bet he din throw a coin in. haha!

eizaaz - girl, nazmi - guy.

amelia - girl.. me - guy.. and its hilarious!! look at the way that i stare down at her.. like she's ah hem.. hahahahah!!!

well so anyway.. its been pretty cool at handorf.. we're gonna head back again in july jus after the exams finish.. next time, we're gonna go drink the 1 litre beer!!!! hahahaha.. as in the mug holds ONE LITRE itself.. and its per person.. hahaha!

2007-05-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

i have no idea how a person can piss 2 pple off at the same time.. its weird man.. and like its really weird cos u din even have anything to do with the initial argument in the first place.. like some kinda innocent bystander..

so anyway.. back to sch.. bleah.. back to dreary existance.. sch's been alrite.. but i gotta put in more effort. its crazed.. really gotta pia.. bout 6 weeks left and i need to finish this off good for once.. well.. twice.. i really pia-ed for Os.. felt really proud then of myself. study study study!!!!

2007-04-27T22:32:00.000+08:00

what a great starter.. gd view man..
thats me and char..
me and chloe.. looks like we're trying to locate ET. haha!
and then i carried her off to the water! hahaha!
i have.. absolutely NO IDEA what i was doing.. the effects of camwhoring i guess

me and my bro, joeE..
i was showing the girls how the body builders do their pose.. but i haven finished the full pose yet.. and one of the girls snapped it.. GREATTTT... some kinda friggin gu niang..
me and the girls.. amelia, cleo, rae, sue, chloe, char..
i was bein trigger happy.. hahaha!!!
i tink i wasn ready... yeh.. i wasn ready.

fr L: amelia, cleo, rae, sue, chloe, char
hhhaha.. stupidness..
basically.. all the girls din change their position.. only their pose..

MORE PICS!!! WOOHOO!!! heh heh.. and i got a new eye candy.. hee hee.. BUT non in comparison to what i can get back home.. sheesh.. bein in adelaide's like bein in NS. ur level of taste jus drop drastically. but thats only cos there arent any who are prettier. hahahah..

oh.. rae's my new EC act.. hahaha.. i got quite a fair more pics... but i think there's sumth wrong with the uploads.. i'll do more at a later time..

heh heh...

2007-04-27T01:11:00.000+08:00

im pissed... the weather's sooo fucking miserable.. its cold.. and its raining.. great.. i mean like yeh, i love the cold.. and i love the rain.. BUT THE WHOLE DAY?! shit man! its fucked.. and like i checked the weather forecast? and its gonna stay like this till tuesday. GREAT.. GREAT.. cmon winter.. bring it on!!! its cold and wet in adelaide durin winter.. hahaha. autumn wasn even autumn. its like skippin str8 to winter! crazed man! but oh well. adelaide needs the rain.. aussie needs the rain. BAH!

oh well.. went to the beach again on tues.. with like a slightly bigger grp.. it was tons fun.. i gotta post them up soon.. bah. i look massively fat... im like a bear now.. eat.. and then hibernate.. or so i think.. hahah. im not hibernating as much as i should? but ah who gives..

pple in adelaide and melb, gear up! its not gonna let up! keep urselves warm and dun fall sick!

2007-04-21T21:54:00.000+08:00

PICTURES!!!! massive upload here.. hahahha. rocks man. well, like i said. had tons of fun. but basically, this jus to show my cool mates that stay with me in the hostel. they's a really fun bunch. me, char (s'poreans), nazmi, geraldine, amelia (m'sians) and sue (korean)

thats jus me with my frisbee.. char, amelia and nazmi at the back.

LUNCH TIME!! me and nazmi carryin the fish and chips. bloody windy man

hahha. this one's really cute.. the seagulls and eating trash.. fr L: geraldine, amelia, nazmi, me, sue, char

fr L: amelia, char, me.. shit man.. im ginormous. hahah

we were under the jetty. it was fun. boh liao sial

nazmi, me, amelia, char, geraldine.

this one's really nice.. one of us was in an artistic mood.

shadowing and all.. taken from the safety of a jetty.

i was jus writing stuff in the sand.. wit geraldine and amelia looking on.. and yes, indecent exposure..

me and char.. wit sue's fingers behind.. hahaha!

me and amelia..

me and my bro, nazmi.. sad that the brotherhood was incomplete with a couple more bros.

this one's MOTHER hilarious.. where's the love man???

me, sue, amelia, char, geraldine.. it was a tight squeeze.. and look at geraldine's turtle neck.. friggin GIRAFFE!!

now me and nazmi.. no love for us..

DA BROS!!!

and yeh.. thats me jus bein stupid.. crabwalk!

i like this one.. its hilarious!

thats me and sue!!! she smiles NON STOP

so well.. yeh.. those me close mates.. we hang out quite a fair bit.. anyways.. all of ya'll at home, take care of urself.. miss u guys tons..

2007-04-21T17:08:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!! went to the beach today.. me and my mates are tryin to get in as much beach weather as possible b4 winter comes and freezes our arses over. it was pretty cool. dunno why pple prefer glenelg to henley.. i dunno.. glenelg is too commercialized? the beach area is small and like there are tons of boutiques and all. so instead of headin to the beach, most of the time, pple jus walk arnd and shop.. henley's nice.. the oly shops there are restaurants.. its nice.. really nice. jus sit there, get in the sun and chill..

i got tons of pictures of today.. but its not with me.. we went abit crazy with the pictures.. hahaha. decided to turn on a camwhoring mood. hahah.

2007-04-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

welll.. so now im back in adelaide... things are startin to look dreary once more. dun get me wrong, adelaide's nice. i love adelaide. i jus wished i spent more time with gerry. hahaha. its crazy man.. b4 i headed to melb, time either passed really slow initially.. then l8r on, it passed really fast! like shites! even b4 i knew it, i was on the plane bound to melb! and then b4 i knew it.. im back here, in my aunt's house. stayin over for the night. tmr, i go back to my hostel.

melb was fun.. i mean we din do anything that pple'd say its like yeh! KICKASS FUN.. but it was more like 2 besties jus chillin out wit each other and jus enjoyin each other's company. it was nice. been a long while. well.. i managed to cook twice for gerry and like man! her mom liked my soya sauce chicken so much, she made me teach her?!?!?!?! hahaha. man man man.. i knew my soya sauce chicken kicked arse! her mom was so cute. she ACT bought like a whole big bag of potatoes cos she wanted to cook soya sauce chicken? hahaha. she told me i gotta come more often to teach her dishes and to play golf with her. HAHAHA! massive man!

gerry: dudete!!! thx tons!! im glad we talked bout stuff!! and i dun think i can wait until nov. i'll find a way yeh? i'll tell u soon or sumth. LOVE U!!!!!!

2007-04-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

caught in a tug of war
worse than ever imagined.
a soldier will always be a soldier,
in the crossfire he will still stand a soldier.
bullets flying all around him
yet he prays he will come home safely.

the sun shines brightly on him,
quietly he curses his luck.
gripping his weapon till knuckles bolt,
the fear, he does not show.
boldly he stands up into the fire
praying, praying, he charges.

2007-04-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

just a very very weird feeling... uber weird feeling.. simplicity was what i wanted.. but its all too complicated for me. or maybe it is i who makes it complicated. it goes against my principles and ethics.. but maybe cos i care more for the other than myself. what's gonna happen? i really dunno..

im still pretty tired.. exhausted actually.. but after all.. its still just a weird feeling.. i'll jus have to keep it at the back of my head. when it takes shape, it'll take shape. or i jus let it fade.. jus one of those random weird feelings that will never take shape. i used to trust it. but not anymore. ruins me more. so well. take it along in stride buddy.. u'll make it. like somehow u always do. jus keep looking up buddy. not down. its a long way down to nothing at all..

2007-04-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

starin ahead at a blank screen
thoughts spun madly around
but no words come to mind
to describe all that's felt inside

would another understand?
would another care?
would it really matter?
that just another fades into thin air

yet with the world and its view
fading to the back is not an option.
no matter how small,
a giant will never disappear.

2007-04-07T03:16:00.000+08:00

hands not held for a long time,
seemed nice after a long while.
a feeling lost in rhyme
just seemed to escape its walls.
wouldn't it be so nice,
if it'd happen once again?

the crowd continues on,
oh go on if you must.
but never will i reach that standard
the world had set out for.
first impressions lasts,
yet seconds lasts longer.

i dunno what else to say..

2007-04-04T17:35:00.000+08:00

emotions leading to numbness
yet numbness in itself is wrecking.

heck.. i cant continue anymore.. really man.. jus entirely no inspiration. jus 4 2 lines i had to sit infront of the com for 5 mins plus. ok.. sitting here staring for another 5 mins. jus gettin a blog entry out is like pulling teeth..

a well of emotions i tell u. a well-full of it. well.. back to the study table. test tmr..........

2007-04-01T10:41:00.000+08:00

hmm.. cooked last night.. what a bummer.. i cooked kang kong and stir fry beef. 2 separate dishes lah.. cooked the kang kong first.. i tot i was gonna screw up my cooking cos i felt a bit off cooking last night. How i knew? thats cos i put the onions into the frying pan w/o putting the oil.. hmm.. i smartly left the oil out.. so i had to get the onions out.. put the oil and then fry the damn thing. put in sambal belachan in and then fry.. i was cookin for 10.. so it was a bit frustrating to get the kang kong to shrink and cook properly. but i did it anyway. so woohoo!!

after i was done with the kang kong, my fren who kept all the meat came back.. so then i started on the beef stir fry.. so i started choppin the onions and i cut my fingers.. so smart man.. so smart.. SO SMART. effing hurts.. then after that, had to slice the beef thinly.. sia lah. it took sucha long time. u gotta rmb that im cookin for 10 pple. hahaha. sia lah. i had 1kg of beef and had to slice the damn thing. hmm.. but the thing that i loved was how thinly i sliced the thing. hahha! the butcher should employ me to slice his beef man...

so anyway.. i din screw up last night's dinner.. it turned out bloody nice! woohoo!!! stirfry beef and kang kong.. nice nice.. then my fren also cooked spicy sotong.. so yeh.. dinner overall was nice...

2007-03-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

ok chuck chuck.. this one's for u.. wasting my time oly lah u. hahah!

well.. i really dunno what to say. my days have been goin by in a blur. i think that once i start writing, i mite not stop writing.. fill this entry with senseless rants or sumth.

things have gotten to the same ol, same ol. nothing much has been happenin. jus go ta sch, come back, TRY to work, or REALLY work my arse off.. tests and assignments have been the major cause of all my i dunno.. dryness? its kinda sappin abit of me.

im on an all time inspirational low. there are somethings that i wanna say but i jus dunno how best to describe it. i feel it, but somehow the words jus dun seem to come out right. i think im jus bloody buggered by work and all. i somehow feel very pent up inside. i jus need to get it out.. get it all out. hmm..

its weird.. i feel a whole mirage of emotions. good, sad, happy, pathetic... I KNOW!!! EMO MOOD! hahhaha..

or maybe i jus wanna go home. ok. better not start or else i'd really be homesick. i think the oly thing im lookin fwd to is my term hols, where i can fly over to melb and see gerry.. cant wait.. cant wait.. but somehow, my mood for that is also dampened...

ever sat in ur room, lying in ur bed staring at the ceiling and wonder what the hell is going on???

2007-03-17T03:07:00.000+08:00

bro: ok lah chinese geek.. what can i say.. ur chinese is PRO-ness what. hahaha. oh well.. bsb man!! all sama sama one..

anyway.. as i promised.. a poem from my old superman series.... wrote it again in a fit of emotions.

Superman can't always fly
Sometimes he too needs to cry.
He can't keep being the big guy,
Cos he too will eventually die.
He thinks he'll never get tired
But he just might fall and get fired.

People call him a zero
But to him, he's a big fat zero.
Everyone sees his done deeds,
Though oblivious that he bleeds.
If only he could release his pride,
He wouldn't be on an emotional joyride.

this one is a bit too rhymy to my liking now.. but it was pretty reflective jus lookin at it.... cmon man.. write a song soon!! its different now from injecting a tune into my old poems.. cos i've matured in my thinking and of course my vocab has expanded. so like most of my old poems wouldn really sound nice... well, maybe i jus gotta not try to write a song.. jus leave it up to the old "inspiration comes when thou doest nothing". hahah!!