21.4.06

i dunno how ta feel man... if ms tan was readin this, i'd most probably think that she'd say that this shouldn be what im thinkin or feelin... bleah...

it sucks man.. reallly... what's with track now man? wth.. even the school's track n field meet's gold is so friggin elusive to me lah. had discus today.. it really really sucked. i was so disappointed with my throws that i din even wanna find out if i got the gold or silver... it jus dun matter anymore.. if i get the medal, i'd rather relinquish my position.. come on man! i was supp to have a clean sweep! AAARRRGGGHHHHH... i throw 31m normally... what the fuck... i threw 24m today... what was even more frustrating is that, i threw like that.. cos i was exhausted... shit lah. what the hell.. it oly took me the trial throw to realize that.. i tried my best to pull myself tgth.. but it jus fell apart...

DOES ANYBODY NOE HOW I FEEL?! fucking hell man! its not that i dun train... i train hard man! n i cant come to terms that i let this slip away cos of hockey... cos of its trng.. n cos its the season.. its jus so hard to come to terms with.. my mom says maybe i try too hard.. COME ON GOD! i work hard for it man! year after year i jus get let down.. BRINGS ME UP JUS TO BRING ME DOWN?! gar... maybe its not like that.. but i jus feel so disappointed.. i knew sumth wasn right wen my left leg buckled in the morn.. shit...

sigh.. forget it.. i'll jus try to put this behind me... i really cant take it anymore.. its really disappointing.. but i jus gotta try... i still ahve hockey season.. sigh.. i dun see the pt, but hell am i gonna try... COME ON SELF-WORTH! ROOOAAARRR....

BOOYA!