30.9.05

god took her away at 330 am this morning..

god took her away.. He took her away from uncle james, aunty may-ann, john.. He took her away from me..

another big gaping hole left in my heart. yet another family tryin to fill the space. its difficult on me.. the last time i saw her was in june.. i never knew she was gonna leave the next day.. she left without a word. it was hurtful. the last time i heard her voice, was wen we were arguin n quarellin non stop on the phone.. never got to speak to her after the successful op... and then.. i'll never get to say my last goodbye to her.. she will remain there.. i mite go to my grave not ever knowing where she lies in peace..

all that's left are memories. all that's left is a big empty space. all that's left is the deafening silence of reality. all that's left is me without a heart, a mind, a soul. dun torment me so. why put me thru torment, oly for me not to get out of it fully? is it divine retribution? what did i do? what did i say wrong? was there anythin more i couldve done? was it all for naught? im not gonna think bout all those.. dun regret what u went thru, noe that at least u shared the same memories..

to everybody who's been readin my blog, for all the support given, i say a big thank you. all that u've done is all for ought. pls noe that i loved jo very much, with all my heart. i've made my mistakes, i jus pray that god n jo will forgive me for them..

gerry... i need u more than ever in my whole life... shit baby.. i dunno what else to say...

BOOYA!