2.8.05

im jus stuck here in my own pit hole. more like a shit hole act. i walk arnd like a zombie. but no. pple dun see me walk like a zombie. im still all smiles n laughter.. as much as i try yeh, i succeed.. sometimes... they're all fake.. fake... noe what i believe??? if ur gonna fake a smile, i'd rather u remain glum.. cos a fake smile is really tiring to keep up. it jus tears u up more...

i wanna smile like i always do.. but issues havent been solved... especially if its with somebody close to the heart. its psychotic.. pple arnd me are all feelin screwed one way or another. do i have to share the black hole wif pple?? i hate seein pple in the hole with me... i gotta stay strong.. i'm almost at the pt of breaking down.. actually, i've broken.. n den i've patched.. but i break down again.. sometimes it makes u wonder why u even bother eh? but nah..

why is tagboard down???????!!!! the oly place to get thru but it crashes.. especially at a trying time.. its killin me... why why why why???

ur in hospital now.. n i cant do anything. why does it have to go this way? what happend? why do this to yerself? i really feel helpless... last time u helped me wif all my vices... n now u've fallen for them.. have i influenced u? shit... now i really noe how u feel in the past. thx alot baby.. but for me its a different degree.. now i cant do anything abt it..ur on the other side of the world.... along wif helplessness accompanies hopelessness.. i think back to the time i got involved wif ace's gang? n u refused to run wen i told u to n u got injured cos of me? thx alot baby.. n even then wen i collapsed after they wrecked my back n i had a comp the next day u stayed over at my house n got uncle james to help me?? thx alot.. really..

baby... pls call me back.. pls say that u'll be alright... pls say that u dun hurt no more... pls say that there's no damage done to u internally.. pls say that we'll move on.. pls say that u'll be happy... pls jus wake up from this... pls do this for yourself... pls do this for me.. when i say that i cant take u back definitely, it doesn mean that im not worried or concerned bout u... pls baby..

so raise your hands to heaven and pray
that we'll be back together someday

tonight i need your sweet caress
hold me in the darkness
tonight you calm my restlessness
you relieve my sadness....

our fave song baby.. rmb??

BOOYA!