16.7.05

hey mates... today was a tad more enlightening... yeh. it was gd. kinda. still have them post competition shocks. but i finally found somebody who really understood the state im in.. n its like the person that i'd least expect from lahz. its came as a big surprise... yeh.. of all pple.. it was kong. haha. there's nothin wrong bout him. but i wouldn've expected him of all pple really.

he really noes what im goin thru, all the repercussions n all. the thought of throwing well n then not performin wen it really counts.. yeh, its psychotic. its really mind boggling.. n he understands that "next yrs" are the worst kinda morale booster. its like we appreciate pple for tryin to cheer us up, but then again, like wad i've said.. wen do dese "next yrs" ever end? kong jus told me ta train harder. rmb this feeling, n train. n next yr wen i go to compete, rmb the motherf-ing feeling n make sure i dun make the same mistake again. i refuse to make the same mistake. im gonna train hard for it. kong also said that i cant keep feelin down.. cos at the end of the day, there's more to it than jus sadness that i walked away with at the stadium. i walked away, wif the experience.. that throwing in the morning is totally different from throwing in the afternoon.

i'll keep trng. i need to carry on trng. it means alot to me. it means alot alot alot alot to me. jus give me one more shot to beat myself. i'll make full opportunity of it. gotta keep breathin. cant lose my head, n my heart.

BOOYA!