5.4.05

yoz guys... wads down... im disappointed... upset... dejected, not rejected... oppressed but not suppressed... do i need help gettin out of this hole?? nah.. its alrite. i'd be able to get down on my own... "a strong woman wont let anyone get the best of her.. but a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.." courtesy of miss dum jiayi.. uh huh. gd stuff eh??

tried to appeal for change of class... i felt horrible, miserable.. i wont go on to vegetable.. but yeh.. i felt super down lahz... sat in se1 yst for contact time n i really felt like crying... its not that se1 is a bad class... its jus knowing that ur the oly fucked up idiot who got posted to another class n that ur ex class still remains as it is.. it sux.. it seriously does... but oh heck.. i wrote a letter to joyce low, sophia ng, loo ming yaw n daniel khor.. requestin for an appeal to class... my mom helped me wif it.. yeh.. it was jus madness... so i handed the letter in today.. thru joyce low.. but then durin chinese lesson, she made the announcement that the heads have said dat dey will not change classes anymore.. because the 1st 3 mths are already up. n we gotta settle down asap n carry on wif the heavy workload... im sure that fat ass din even read my letter lahz.. it clearly stated dat i've bonded well wif my classmates n to the tutors.. their teaching styles n expectations... so all im asking is dat i swap places wif chen yan.. who's in the same predicament as me.. i mean seriously.. isn he majorly contradicting himself??? settle down n quickly start work.. i gotta get used to the new tutors.. chen yan's gotta get used to the tutors.. jus grant our bloody request damnit.. i wouldn even need to settle down. i wuld've been settled down already! really..

but yeh.. i feel more at peace now i guess.... i prayed for like 15mins yesterday.. really pleading wif god to let me swap classes.. like open doors of opportunity for me... which he did. that night wen my mom came back.. she heard me shouting on the phone... i was talkin to mom (griselda). n really shouting at her.. so my mom was quite worried... n yeh.. so i talked to my mom bout teh situation in sch.. n she was like why dun u write a letter.. wif all the better reasons in there? n yeh... see? door of opportunity opens... but then wad happend dis morning... the door closed... but its alright.. i can go wif the peace of mind dat se1 is god's will.. wad can a mere sinful human being do against the power n will of god? if u cant see god's plan, trust his heart... yeh.. i dun like being angry.. or disappointed over sumth for too long.. it hurts.. especially when u have no control over stuff like these.. i dunno wad else to say.. its jus dat it really hurts.. it really does.. but its alright.. make new frens, piss new tchers off.. i dun see why not? hahah..

lastly... i wanna thank andris and anybody else who helped me talk to sophia ng over the change of classes.. i really gotta keep an open mind... n give off my best to anybody who needs it... yep yep. wotcher mates...

BOOYA!