6.4.05

wednesday... is dere a song wif wednesday in it??? sigh... its the first period of the day.. supp to have PW now.. but there's no PW for this entire week.. so yeh.. free for the 1st 2 periods.. den 3rd period is recess.. 2 periods of chem, 2periods of chinese, 1 free period.. den NE... and then!!!!! training!!!!!! yay... guess that's the oly thing that's drivin me.. but at the same time, i feel as tho im runnin on empty...

actually not really empty... i've found myself praying alot more.. and counting on the strength of god to guide me n hold me... prayed alot last nite... it took the place of my self-abusing crunches and all.. i felt better... den i usually would after im done wif my push ups n extreme crunches... den dis morn.. i guess god kinda talked to me... thru devotions.. seriously.. the way things work themselves out.. or the way god makes things work out.. power man... i was flippin thru teh PW handbook.. n den joyce low tapped me to listen to devotions.. gd thing i did.. i heard.. "faith without action is dead...." how extremely apt for me now.. im jus bout killin myself over dis... faith without action.. i have faith.. i lack teh action dept... so yeh.. jus gotta take a stand i guess..
gonna try loo ming yaw again l8r.. getin pops to bring chen yan to the hod.. i really wanna do this... but i REALLY need moral support.. im tryin to ask aunty chin kiang to haunt daniel khor abit.. hahah.. she was his maths lecturer b4 lahz!!! i dun blieve it.. sigh..

cant wait for trng.... i think god kinda gave me track n field for a gd reason.. haha.. to get rid of some healthy anger.. i cant take it out on a human being.. so i have a lump of metal to take it out on.. hahaha.. yay yay yay... jus gotta get rid of some excess anger, disappointment n dejectedness... heard a song this morning.. wow.. "Do i lie like a loungeroom lizard, Or do i sing like a bird released... Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you.." positivity and negativity spreads like wildfire.. its up to u to stand positive... or lie negative.. its like how a smile from someone else can really light u up, but a real long n sour face can jus darken it to shit bits..

how long will u smile and say that ur alright wen ur not?? i really dunno how much i can take.. but i cant be like this the whole time.. wotcher mates....

BOOYA!