20.4.05

had sch track n field heats today.. discus event today... MAJOR LETDOWN.. AS USUAL.. sigh.. threw 24m oly.. dats way below average.. n i coulda gotten the record man.. arrgh. lost out on the gold medal.. but that's not wad im concerned bout.. i dun care bout the positioning.. its jus knowing dat i culda done way better den the distances dat resulted today.. it jus pissed me off man.. i train hard n all.. n results are seen in trng.. but den wen its counted.. it jus falls damn short of it.. deja vu i tell u.. since wen have my competitions turn out for the better?! since wen?! but hell.. cant give it up...

arrghhh.. not oly did i throw badly.. i injured myself again.. wah lao.. damn freakin irritating.. major cramp in my gluteus.. commonly known as the arse muscle.. wah lao.. i jus realized how bloody impt that muscle is lah.. culdn bend, culdn squat.. but that happend after the comp.. so yeh.. shit lah.. i was so disappointed n angry wif myself dat after the comp, i carried on throwing n throwing n throwing.. by which i got angrier n angrier n angrier... WHICH WOULD MEAN that my distances was gettin shorter n shorter n shorter.. which of cos made me angrier n angrier.. wow.. vicious cycle.. den wayne lee told me to go for a break n jus chill out.. cos it wont make it better if i was angry n couldn handle the anger.. so ok.. i went for it.. got a drink.. n den i saw vashi doin sprints.. decided to join her for 3 sets.. it was cool.. den i did a bit of lunges n my glut hurt abit.. n i stopped.. den i walked outside n all of a sudden i jus collapsed.. it was mad.. sheer pain man.. but jen helped me up (thx bro!!) n i rested for awhile.. den i carried on outside to throw.. wen i leaned to the initial position, it cramped again n i jus dropped.. dis time it REALLY HURT TO SHIT BITS... wah lao.. wad an idiot i can be man.. so jen n wayne tan carried me back to the sports complex.. bleahz.. i dun blieve it.. injured.. arrgh!! scruoff! anyway.. thx bros.. alot.

oh yeh.. halfway, i threw quite a bad throw.. it was so bad dat i really lost my temper.. shouted like mad, got out of the cage, got another discus n threw it out rite dere n den.. n did a drop kick accidently on wayne lee's bottle.. oops.. the netballers was dere... im damn thankful i din accidently injure dem in anyway while i lost my temper.. i would've really killed myself.. i shulda handled my temper alot better.. dey culda been hurt if i mis-threw.. arrgh. but then i sat down n jus calmed myself down.. my mind was dying man.. jus waiting to explode.. den the netballers was still joggin deir warm up round n dey passed me n was like go fang!! wah lao.. dat helped me alot man.. alot i tell u.. thx netties! cool stuff man.. but then.. jus minutes l8r, i injure myself.. wad an idiot.. roar... KILL ME!!!!

sigh.. guess i was injured for a reason.. so dat i wuldn push myself n kill myself off b4 it really counts.. but i dunno lah.. been quite a letdown recently.. its alrite.. its gonna be ok.. jus gotta keep trng hard... its gonna pay off ONE day.. bleahz.

BOOYA!